


Time Heals All Wounds (But It Still Leaves The Scars)

by A_Light_In_The_Dark_Wood



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: AgustD, Anxiety, Bottom Park Jimin, Camboy Jungkook, Chapter Titles Create A Poem I Wrote, Cute Park Jimin, Dancer Park Jimin, Depressed Min Yoongi | Suga, Depression, Evil Exo, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Multi, Park Jimin Is Whipped, Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, Park Jimin Is a Tease, Producer Min Yoongi | Suga, Sad Min Yoongi | Suga, Self Harm, This Is My Depression Experience And Everyones Is Difference, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, namjin - Freeform, taekook, vkook, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-15 05:38:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15406173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Light_In_The_Dark_Wood/pseuds/A_Light_In_The_Dark_Wood
Summary: “Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”~~~~~~~~~Yoongi is depressed and constantly feeling alone until Jimin forces himself into Yoongi’s life as his new roommate.When Yoongi is stuck facing bullies, self hatred, failure and regret, Jimin brightens the darkness.Love doesnt cure depression; but Jimin is sure as hell trying.





	1. Take a deep breath

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still new at writing fanfictions so please feel free to let me know your opinions in the comments!!!

The car door closes with a fading “Good luck baby!” from Jimin’s mother. 

Jimin is honestly quite petrified. The ground feels like it is swaying beneath him and the bustle of people feel like they are stealing the breath straight from his lungs. It isnt even like its just a new school, he is starting in second year; so everyone already knows everyone.

If worst comes to worst- he still has Taehyung. His best friend who moved here just a year before Jimin.

Jimin’s parents have already driven away, leaving only the promises of weekly phone calls. 

Dancing through the sea of bodies, Jimin headed to what he assumed was the dorm building, it was surprisingly grand, a pale grey colour that was so dull not even a spec of sunlight reflected off of it. Jimin just groaned at the sight of the broken elevator and thanked the world he was only on the second floor. 

Taehyung had messaged Jimin his room number for emergencies, and Jimin definitely thinks that being vastly lost is an emergency. 

Why the living hell were the room numbers codes and not simple numbers? Who even names a room 522ab? Why do we need letters too?

He reaches his old friends door, the slightly shinier blue plaque reading ‘543ab’ hanging above it. 

Jimin knocks.

And knocks again. And then reluctantly a third time. 

He hears someone mumbling agressively, and then footsteps are approaching the door.

Taehyung opens it quickly and fully, staring excitedly at Jimin’s shorter frame. The former goes to squeal a greeting, but Jimin quickly gets over the initial excitement and realises what he is truly seeing.

Although they saw each other like last week, Taehyung’s hair was a lot different, grey, ruffled and falling softly into his bright eyes. Taehyung is lanky but still kept his adorable tummy- which was starkly covered in reddish bruises towards the waistband of his joggers. Wait. His lips were even swollen.

And there was another person there. Stood right behind the other.

This new person was just as tall, but by no means as covered. He was only in his tight boxers which made his current... ‘state’... quite strikingly obvious. He looked like a pissed of bunny and his hair was in a much worse state than Taehyung’s.

Jimin took a breath.

“What the fuck? Who the fuck? When the fuck?” Jimin questioned slowly, trying to remain calm.

“Ahh Chim, meet Jungkook, my.... my friend!” Taehyung seemed to beam as he pulled the said boy towards the entrance. 

This Jungkook kid still looking pissed off- just standing there silently.

“Friend?” Jimin raises an eyebrow at his best friend, knowing him too well. Well, someone who just met these two in this predicament would also ask that, but Jimin knew there was something deeper hidden in the lie. 

“Yeah. Friend with benefits if that makes more sense to you,” Tae grins widely, almost proud of himself. There was still something off with this but Jimin could see Taehyung was actually happy, so he let it go. 

Jimin looks at the other boy there, Jungkook, only to see that he seems to have gotten a lot softer and more flustered since Jimin’s last glance.

“Uhm, Park Jimi-“

“I know who you are hyung, Taetae’s spoke about you?” The boy says, his voice less intimidating then one would have thought.

“Hyung??? Taetae???”

“Jungkook is barely 18, hes a little baby,” Taehyung oh so smugly informs as his not-boyfriend hits him on the arm. 

“Surely this is his first day then? How did you even meet?” Jimin questions, getting increasingly confused the longer he stands in this crowded doorway.

Jungkook very very strongly turns a deep shade of red. 

“Don’t you dare,” the youngest says as he looks at Taehyung pleadingly. 

Jimin gives up.

“Right, I’d love to stay but i dont want to interrupt the moment more than i already am... or be here at all to be honest. Tae, meet me at break?” Jimin offers, eager to let his friend get back to his ‘extra curricular activities’.

“Sure thing Chiminie!!!” Tae goes to close the door, his mouth already leaning to latch on his ‘friends’ neck.

However, just before his lips touch the others skin and just before the door slams shut, Jimin sticks his foot into the room, preventing the door from closing. 

“Sorry, sorry, i almost forgot the fact that ive been wondering around this floor for about an hour trying to find my room. Where the hell is room 522ab?” Jungkook physically stiffens, whether in anger at me for interrupting again or god knows what.

Taehyung just carries on kissing at the youngers throat while gesturing wildly to the wall opposite him. 

Jimin’s invasive and awkward feel increases when Jungkook groans; Jimin almost just walks out and decided to get lost again, but luckily Jungkook sends him a glance. 

“Next ah door... good luck Jimin hyung. Yoongi hyu-mm. Hyung can be scary.”

And with that, Taehyung kicks at Jimin's foot and slams the door on his face. Wow, the love and respect he gets off of his so called ‘best friend’.

Jimin walks to the door to the left of Taehyung’s, feeling like an idiot for not noticing its blue number earlier while looking for Tae’s. 

He swipes his key card into its reader and hears the click that signifies the door unlocking.

Jimin hesitates slightly to enter, Jungkook’s odd words resurfacing as he walks through the door.

As soon as Jimin is present in their shared bedroom, he spots the black haired male slouched over his desk- that was very distinctly placed on his ‘side’ of the room.

Before Jimin could even announce his arrival or introduce himself, the other male was talking. His voice was deeper than what Jimin expected, not Taehyung deep but pretty close. It was sort of gruff, like it was unused or strained. One extreme or the other.

“I’m Min Yoongi and you’re Park Jimin. I’m a third year and you're a second year. I never asked nor wanted a roommate but here we are; so you just stay out of my life and I’ll stay out of yours. Got it?” 

Jimin didnt know what to say for a moment, the elders cold words sort of struck the younger with a panic. He was going to have this person as his roommate for all these years and the other literally wanted nothing to do with him. All Jimin’s hopes of having a cute roommate who lets him sleep in his bed and have little midnight talks just vanished into thin air. 

“Okay Yoongi-ssi.”

When realising that he wasnt even going to get a reply, Jimin went to his bed, on his side of the room, and took out his timetable and books to start organising his own desk. 

He tried to steal a few glances at the elder but all he could see was half his body. he had broad shoulders yet quite a thin frame. Everything of his seemed delicate other than his multiple ear piercings, outifit choice, deathly stare and large, veiny, long, sexy hands...

Yoongi still sat at the other side of the room, refusing to look at the younger, knowing that as soon as he looked at the boy with the soft sweet voice his resolve would break. He couldnt let Jimin in because then the latter would have to deal with all of his shit too.

Eventually, as time passed and the clock started to read ‘19:43’ Jimin’s eyes began to droop unwillingly. 

The younger had fallen asleep, surely if Yoongi looks at him now it wouldnt count. He doesnt debate any longer and he just stares.

He’s... prettier than Yoongi thought. He has ridiculously bright pink fluffy hair that falls against his forehead, puffy eyes with large aegyo-sal beneath. And his nose was softly curved, his cheeks already chubby but appearing even more so as half his face squishes into his bed. And his lips. They were... big. Okay, fuck they were so big. The top was just as full as the bottom. Yoongi moved his eyes before he truly got distracted. 

The boy was skinny, not like twig thin but just... nice. His waist was clearly tiny, if the large dip in his shirt was anything to go by, but then contrastingly, he had the thighs of the worlds hottest rugby player. Okay fuck his thigh were hot... really hot. They were like every gay guy’s dream thigh fuck and every straight girl’s dream thigh ride. Okay fuck Yoongi had to stop.

Of course, being who he is, Yoongi couldnt just turn around and get on with writing his lyrics... nooooo. Jimin had to go and wake up sometime during Yoongi thirsting over the poor boys thighs. 

But Yoongi’s actions went unnoticed by the younger, whom was way to distracted trying to take in the sight of Yoongi’s whole appearance. How his pale complexion contrasted so nicely against that sultry eyebrow piercing he hadnt been able to see before this moment. Jimin thinks he has found a new turn on.

“Uhm i,” the elder starts before properly clesring his throat. “What class do you have first tomorrow?” 

Jimin just stares, confused by the mixed signals this guy is giving him.

“Dance at 8am. Why Yoongi-sii?”

“I’ll walk you.” Yoongi states before getting up and pulling on some boots.

Just as he shuffles into a leather jacket and opens the door, he turns around for a moment to face the younger, who is still sprawled on his bed.

“And call me hyung Jimin.”

Then he is gone.

~~~~~~~~~

“Namjoon! Stop laughing, i’m being real fucking serious right now. Im fucking fuming!” Yoongi screams as Namjoon just sits there nodding smugly. 

“Yoongi hyung just chill out. You literally just met the guy, you said he seems nice so why are you getting so worked up? He’s cute isnt he? Jin already showed me his old school photo, didnt think the cute ones were your type to be honest hyung I-“ Namjoon stopped at the extreme look of fury growing on his elders face.

“Namjoon. This isnt a fucking joke. Yes, he is a nice kid and maybe he is cute but that is the point of why im mad. I never asked for a fucking roommate- actually i specifically asked not to have a fucking roommate but the universe likes to fuck me over for shits and giggles! I’m going to fucking ruin him Namjoon, he doesnt need to deal with my shit okay? Just ask Jin to get him moved, please. He doesnt need to see what i’m hiding.” Yoongi began angry but now his voice is stoic. And its worse. Its so much worse. 

“He might be good for you hyung. He could be really good for you if you try? I’m tired of seeing you so... alone... But dont worry, i’ll still be sure to metion it to Jin anyw-“

As if on cue the school receptionist strolls into the room, one of Namjoon’s apartment keys in his right hand. Oh, thats new.

“Joonie i didnt know what you wanted to eat so i j-“ Jin stopped as his eyes fell onto their visiter. “Oh, hello Yoongi sweetie, sorry would you like me to come back later? Or i can dish up the food and you can eat with us? I might have to ration the proportions a bit but im sure it can feed three.”

“Nah its fine hyung, i was just leaving.” Yoongi still hates the way the word hyung feels when directed at Jin- a man that works at his college for fuck sake. But hey ho, theyve known each other not so formely for a while now, and although he knows he can trust Namjoon with his life, he would not be very surprised if Jin knew every embarassing thing about Yoongi. Because Yoongi definitly has dirt on Jin. 

Before departing, Yoong leans in to Namjoon and pats him on the shoulder, whispering a reminder to where protection. The joke more to show the fact that he isnt actually angry though he has been yelling than to genuinly be funny or embarass the other. Though, Namjoon does get a little flustered as Jin sends over a questioning look.

And Yoongi is back to being confused and alone.

He doesnt go home that night. He goes to the studio and ends up sleeping there too, his wrist itching. 

Jimin sleeps uncomfortably back at the dorm, wondering if the elders nightly disappearance is a regular thing- or if it is because he is there. Dreading the fact that it could be the latter.


	2. The answer isn't death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SELF HARM WARNING
> 
> Long chapter for y’all- you get to meet the whole gang

Strict to his word Yoongi walked Jimin to class that next morning.   
Jimin had awoken to Yoongi already up and on his computer- then without even looking at the boy, the elder held out a pastry bag.   
Jimin took it thankfully and devoured its contents before repetitively thanking Yoongi as they walked to his first class.  
"So what lesson do you even have now hyung?" Jimin questioned as he jogged a little to catch up with Yoongi, gosh he walked quickly.   
"Math," a man of few words is an understatent for explaining how this conversation has been going so far.  
"What are you majoring in?" Jimin knew he's struck something important as Yoongi's eyes lit up the tiniedt bit.  
"Musc and producing. I want to be a rapper in the future," Jimin thought that answer would suffice as it already surpassed the length of his previous sentences. However, as the younger went to ask another question about being a rapper, Yoongi interjected.  
"I know it isnt a common dream for someone to have and that it is a fucking difficult industry to get into, but i'm already producing music and some companies have actually bought my songs... I guess I just really fucking want this Jimin," Yoongi rambled and then quickly closes it off when he realises how much he had said.  
Jimin side steps closer to Yoongi; the latter notices due to the complete lack of subtlety, and hurriedly glances around the corridors. Eyes searching for a very specific set of three people.   
"Can i listen to one of your songs?" Jimin squeals out, taking Yoongi aback with his genuine excitement over his work.   
Yet Yoongi still refuses to let anyone other than Namjoon hear or read his lyrics, so "No."  
Jimin just fucking pouts and looks down. Fucking pouts. He has to be doing this on purpose. He has to know that Yoongi is a very not straight male and he has to know that he is a very not ugly person.   
"We are here Jimin."  
With those words, the latter bursts into fifty million different ways of bouncily thanking the elder who tries to escape as soon as possible.  
Jimin is causing a commotion by laughing at Yoongi's awkwardness, his dance class, who are also waiting outside, begin to look; and Jimin understands that Yoongi doesnt want that. Therefore, in a rush to save Yoongi's social awkwardness, Jimin says his farewells and sends one last blindingly bright smile to the elder. His eyes turning into soft crescents as his crooked teeth appear through his face splitting smile.  
Yoongi almost thinks it is beautiful, and that thought scares him. He isnt an idiot; Jimin is attractive. But like fucking hell is he going to get close to the boy, because you have to be a next level dick to willingly destroy something beautiful. So Yoongi walks away coldly, without a wave or a smile.   
After Yoongi's departure, Jimin is uncomfortably stood alone outside the door.   
"Hey, i'd stay away from the fag if i was you," some random ridiculously attractive and tall guy yelled as he walked towards Jimin.   
"Sorry?" Jimin asks, really hoping he didnt just hear the word he thinks he did,  
"He said to stay away from the faggot," another boy repeated. Yep, he said the word.   
There were three of them. One standing in the middle like a cliche bitch squad leader.  
"Are you on about Yoongi hyung?" Jimin yet again questions their motives.  
"Oh, hyung now is he? I'm Sehun, this is Kai and Chanyeol," attractive leader bitch is Sehun, dark skinned and good body guy is Kai, and the tall elf is Chanyeol.   
"What do you want?" Jimin didnt want to introduce himself, these people seemed like bad people. And if they already knew his name then they could tell anyone anything.   
"Stay away from Yoongi. You're a pretty decent looking boy, and hes a fag so just be careful man. He's bad news and he-"  
"I think i can handle myself just fine, thank you anyway." Jimin walks away before it escalates. He is fucking fuming but he knows he cant get into a fight or make enemies on his frst day so he just walks over to the other side of the door.   
There is another person there, staring dagers into the bitch squad's backs, Jimin decides he likes this guy so he goes to stand near him.   
"Oh, hello. Please ignore whatever they said, they arent good people. I'm Hoseok but you can call me Hobi, or J-hope when in dance class! And your name cutie?" Yeah, Jimin likes this guy, sure he hasnt even spoken to him yet but he radiates sunshine and entertainment.  
"I'm Jimin but you can call me Jiminie, or ChimChim when in dance class! I’m kidding Hoseok-ssi I’m Park Jimin," Jimin giggles at himself which makes Hoseok laugh a little too, before his laughing suddenly stops and he stares at the shorter boy with a huge grin on his face.   
"Wait, the Jimin??? Like Yoongi's roommate Jimin? Oh and just call me hyung- or just Hobi- i’m really not one for formality."  
"Uhm yeah? He just walked me here actually, we-" Jimin is cut off by Hoseok's excited bouncing and increasingly loud voice.  
"He walked you here?! What the fuck he never walks me here! He has maths right now and thats like at the other side of campus so he's definitly going to be late oh my gosh, you must be special," Hoseok jolts just as the teacher opens the doors, all the students flooding into the tiny and most definitly cracking class room door.  
While Jimin and Hobi both tried to slide through, Jimin mumbled a reply to their earlier conversation. "I dont actually think he likes me all too much..."  
Hoseok whips his head around and asks why he'd say that, Jimin doesnt even know. Yoongi is a confusing person.  
"He seems really cold to me but then he looks at me weirdly, like im being studied, then he'll be cold again. But he also does things like walk me to class and buy me breakfast you know? I feel like im a bit of a burden to him," Jimin full on lets out all his thoughts to his new friend he'd barely just met. The said friend's face seems to sullen, which just looks wrong on the smiling boys face.  
"He's a good guy Jimin, he has some personal issues and he struggles to open up to people. Just give him time and please dont turn your back on him... I've known him for years and he still doesnt even tell me everything. He only really talks to Namjoon. Anyway, i can't really explain his life and tell you why he is how he is as thats his story to tell; but he's a good person.   
Jimin just thanks him and begins to pay attention to the teacher. His mind swarmed with thoughts of the mysterious Min Yoongi.  
~~~~~~~~~  
"Yo yo yo my hoes!" Hoseok yells as soon as Jimin and him are spotted by Taehyung and Jungkook.  
"Hey hyung," the youngest grumbles through his mouthful of bacon. Little flecks of orangey red coating the areas around his mouth. Taehyung grunts and send the other a bitter look.  
"Why is everyone hyung apart from me?"  
"Because i dont respect you," Jungkook jokes with a serious face. Well, Jimin thinks he is joking...  
"Well, i'm no longer going to respect your ass tonight when i'm be-"  
"PG FOR THE NEW FRIEND GUYS WOAH!" Hobi literally screams, which gains a lot more attention than any of them were ready for. Jungkook reddens the most and Taehyung takes that as a win on his behalf. "Neither have you have even introduced yourselves you rude shits..."  
"Hobi~ Hobi~ Hobi~" Tae drawls teasingly. "How many photos have you seen of me and my old school friend Jimin. A few hmm? Then maybe notice this is that same friend! We have known each other for centuries! I dont need to inform him of my name anytime soon."  
"Oh..."  
"And I also very unknowingly met Jungkook when i walked in on these two doing not so appropriate activities to each other," Jimin adds, an over-exaggerated distasteful look spread across his features. "Speaking of which; hyung, how did these two meet?"  
Jung freaking Hoseok literally chokes on his water as he bursts out laughing. Jungkook, yet again becomes so noticeably awkward, he takes a rocking step back and his eyes fleet all over the place.  
"Yo, you wont believe this shit little Jiminie-"  
"Is that a height dig?!"  
"Oh hush, now isnt the time, prepare yourself for this blessed knowledge," Hoseok pauses for dramatic effect as he steps closer to Jimin, clapping his hands together.   
Hoseok then unregretfully presses himself against Jimin, making Jimin glance around as if looking to make sure a certain person hadnt misinterpretated the action. That certain person definitely took notice of the other twos new proximity unknowingly to Jimin .  
"Our little Kook here was a camboy." Jimin didnt move, blink nor breathe.   
The latter came to his senses and almost cracked his head by looking up at such a speed. Jungkook was gone nonetheless. So instead, Jimin sent his shocked stares in the direction of his best friend.  
"Do i want to know how you came across him?"  
"Came might be the key word in that sentence," Taehyung barked back with a laugh. In no way were his words quiet, so Jungkook who was only actually standing a few feet away sent the deadliest glare over to the remainding three friends. Jungkook was stood with some yellow(?) haired boy who had a very distinct mole by his eye.   
Hoseok's loud laughs had fallen into a silent wheezing mess, tears low key streaming out his eyes as Jiminburied his face in his hands.  
"In all seriousness, i liked what i saw and i hit him up on his business twitter account," Jimin openly scoffed at the word business. "We got talking, decided to meet up and well everything went from there. He quit his job even though i said i didnt mind; he wanted to be commited i guess. Please don't treat him differently Chim, he gets really embarrassed about it because he just really needed the money."  
Jimin relaxed his face and softly smiled at his childhood best friend. "I literally dont think of him any different Tae; the first time i met him he was half naked and hiding behind your inappropriate looking self. Camboy, stripper, druggy, i couldnt really care less. Actually please dont tell me any of you are druggies because thats really bad for you..."  
Hoseok takes Jimin's attempt and brightens up the mood again, laughing how he's a drug lord and has all his weed growing under his dorm bed. Jimin begins to laugh too, and gestured an awkward looking Jungkook over to rejoin them.  
"Hey i wont bring it up if you dont want me to but honestly Kook i couldnt give a shit what you've done; youre a kind and cute little dongsaeng. Just be good to Tae and i don't care what you do. Break his heart and i break your face." Jimin smiles widely at the younger- the latter looks petrified for a moment before laughing along with Jimin.  
"I'd never hurt Taehyung."   
Before Jimin can take in the cute moment, Taehyung is bouncing over with coos and kissing all over Jungkook, mumbling about how he'd never hurt the other boy too- unless they're... in the bedroom...  
The conversation goes on and Jimin slowly begins to lose interest as break comes closer and closer to a close. His eyes search for a certain black haired boy, eventually finding him leaning careless against a wall. Yoongi was with a much taller man, quite intimidating looking with distinct facial features and a lean body. The unknown man was talking to Yoongi and writing in a big blueish-grey notebook as Yoongi barely replied to the other.   
Jimin stares blatantly at the elder, he seems so uncomfortable all the time... no matter where he is, he always seems like he'd rather be somewhere else- somewhere alone and unreachable. Only now does Jimin realise how skinny Yoongi actually is. His thighs almost have a gap in between and all his shirts hang loosely over his stomach.   
Yoongi catches Jimin's eye; the latter does nothing but fearfully stare back with wide eyes. He's been caught looking and he can't really do anything about that, so he awaits the swears or middle finger or the rollocking when he gets back to the dorm for being a creep.   
However, Yoongi just raises a well sculptured eyebrow at Jimin before getting distracted by the taller man he is with. The tall one says something to Yoongi before following his past gaze- stopping when he reaches Jimin. His eyes wonder over Jimin's form before the other whispers yet another thing to Yoongi; then finally laughing so loudly it cuts through Jimin's haze.

Jimin turned his glance away in half embarassement and half curiosity as to why Hoseok had ended his random squealing story. Turns out the latter was too staring at Yoongi and his friend; however with much more confidence and... love(?) in his eyes.

Hoseok then smiles greatly and waves at the others, responded with a wave back from the stranger and a middle finger from Yoongi.

“Namjoon, bring Mr Grumps and get your little asses over here!” Hoseok bellows across the hall as Jimin turns his now saucer-like eyes onto Hoseok in complete bewilderment.

Jimin likes to think of himself as a confident person, so when Yoongi comes strolling over, his feet occasionally squeaking against the floor, Jimin greets him straight away. 

“Hey, Yoongi hyung!” Jimin almost squeals. 

“Hello, Jimin,” is all he gets in reply, but in all honesty, its enough. Jimin has been told he is pretty decent at reading people; so to him its already obvious that Yoongi doesnt talk much as he’s afraid of what he’ll say, of the secrets he’ll expose. Call him a ciche high school girl, but that just makes him more intrigued. 

“Already friendly i see,” Namjoon, interrupts as he watches the others. He’s been friends with Yoongi for god knows how long and being so blatantly quick to befriend something is new per se. Even if he was forced into being their roommate. “I’m glad you actually called us over Hobi. Jin wanted me to invite you all to his tonight, we havnt had a guys night for ages.”

“The term guys night doesnt really work if we are all gay hyung,” Taehyung interjects as he leans into the conversational circle. 

“Are we forgetting that im really not into guys? Anyone remember that key fact?” Hoseok piped up, rolling his eyes in the meantime. “And i’m pretty sure Yoongi hyung is asexual as anything so count him out too. Plus, we don’t know about Jimin here!”

“Oh Jimin is gay, trust me. He has seen Taeyang’s Eyes Nose Lips at least 700 times at early hours in the morning with his hand in unspoken areas,” Tae exposes the elder just as Jimin pounces on him to flick him on the forehead. 

“Okay moving on,” Namjoon ignores everything that happened after his last comment and waits for Jimin’s attention to revert back to him before adressing the younger. “You are invited by the way Jimin, Jin is very excited to meet you!” 

“Oh, thank you so much hyung! Can i call you hyung??? I’m excited to meet him too!” Jimin jolts, excited to have been so easily thrown into such an interesting group of friends. 

Namjoon manages to fit in a yes before the school bell rings, causing almost all of the squad sigh at the thought of having to go back to lessons.

“I guess i’ll catch you all tonight,” Hoseok dances off with a wink to the group before. Jimin hesitantly looks around at the rest of the group.

“Uhmm, does anyone have IT now...?” The latter calls put before anyone else can rush to their next class. “I’m sorry i just still dont really know where im going.”

“Yoongi has Media which takes place in the same building he’ll walk you!” Namjoon almost shouts with glee as Yoongi’s eyes finally raise; looking like a tired unbothered version of being a bit taken aback. 

“Oh no no i wouldnt want to burden him again, he alread-“ Jimin was cut off by Yoongi waking off, beckoning him to follow. He really was a confusing man of few words. Jimin sent a happy smile to the remaining members before jogging after the elder.

~~~~~~~~~

After media, Yoongi didnt wait for Jimin, he didnt know what the other’s next lesson was but he also didnt want to risk having to wait out in the openness of a corridor for long. So he just started speed walking to his vocal class. 

They still found him though.

Sehun almost rugby tackled him with his shoulder as he ‘knocked into’ Yoongi.

“Don’t try and feel me up fag, i’m not one of you,” Sehun taunted, throwing a disgusted expression on his face as he dramatically tried wiping himsef dowm where he’d come into contact with the shorter. 

“You’re gay enough without my help Sehun so just leave me alone and stop begging to get yourself hit,” its the most words Yoongi will dare to say in the presence of the other but he hated whem his silence came off as fear or shame.

Yoongi skimmed his eyes behind Sehun, of course Kai and Chanyeol were waiting behind their leader. Childish. No one else seemed to be around though, they were alone. Yoongi didnt know if that was for better or worse.

“No need to look for help little one, your friends arent here to save you princess,” Kai barked from the left, making Sehun shimmer with what could almost be pride. 

“Fuck off,” was Yoongi’s creative answer. He wouldnt ever admit it but of course he was scared; Yoongi was strong but three men double his size were stronger. Although he refuses to acknowledge it, their words also sting like the blunt edge of a knife against his neck. Their words burnt, the same crackling pain that he’s already felt; the same flames his parents scolded him with. 

“Wouldnt you much rather do that to your pretty new roommate,” Sehun adds, a blatant smirk spreading when he takes in Yoongi’s sudden twitch in expression. He knows that he’s struck a nerve within his victim. “I was surprised to hear you’d fnally gotten yourself a room buddy, but then i saw him. I didnt expect you to like the feminine ones but i guess i see it now. You like to pretend your in control Yoongi but i could crush you. Just like how that little straight boys gonna crush your poor hear-“

Yoongi’s hand flew through the air, knuckles cracking as they collided with Sehun’s stupidly sharp cheekbone. Yoongi’s rings sliced a neat line across the tallers cheek, red blood beginning to flow dowm the others face. 

Kai and Chanyeol had soon rushed in, each grabbing one of Yoongi’s arms and pinning them back. Yoongi embraced himself for what he knew would come, it was unwise to get mad and hit him, they are cleary overpowered but Yoongi was to emraged to care at the time. 

So now he just stood and tried not to temse up as his arms were immobile as an onslaught of punches crashed into his stomach and face. After two harsh blows to his stomach and one fatal crash against his face, Yoongi’s heart swelled at the sound of Namjoon’s voice.

“Back off you fucking i-“

The boys all automatically let go and in that moment Yoongi knew Jim had come along too. Jin was the opposite of intimidating- but he was still a teacher, an authoritive figure, someone that could get the three bullies expelled from school.

Namjoon came and cradled Yoongi’s face in his hands, checking the boy over and over. 

“He started it,” Sehun exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Yoongi as he falsed hurt on his face everytime Jin so much as glanced at him. Yoongi tried to tear himself ot of Namjoon’s grip to get his fists back on the fucker, but Namjoon too was stronger than him.

“I’m sure he did,” Jin nonchalantly replied. “Now if i were you I’d hurry your prejudicial selves over to the principals office before I take this secretly further than the school regulations allow.”

They all rushed off like the cowards they are when any authoritve figure comes into play. Because like every bully, rule one is that you best those weaker than you.

“You didnt have to fucking rescue me like im some damsel,” Yoongi growles at the two men, scrambling to his feet and beginning to storm off. 

Jin went to grab Yoongi’s arm until he realised that it could hurt the younger’s injuries that Jin knew he had. The latter glanced at Namjoon sadly before deciding to just jump i front of Yoongi.

“Baby just tell me what happened,” Jin whispered so soothingly that Yoongi almost just sobbed and told him everything. But he didnt. He never did. 

“Fuck off, both of you. I’m not in the mood.”

~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi didnt turn up to lunch that day, he went to classes as he meeds the levels to pass, and luckily no one in his friend groups shared his classes today. So he didnt need to face there stares and questions about what he knows his face looks like. 

He knew he’d get it when he got to the dorm.

And he was right.

“Why werent you at lunch? We had to adopt Namjoon onto our little table because he was all alone. Which by the way, why doesnt he sit with Jin-sii li-“ Jimin cuts off after he has stopped busying himself by removing his coats and shoes and actually looks at the elder boy. 

“Yoongi hyung, what happened?! Oh my gosh are you okay?” Jimin rushes over to the other and sits on his bed, reaching his hand up to Yoongi’s face but the latter flinches away from the action.

“I got in a fight. I’m fine.”

“Fine? You call this fucking fine?!” Jimin leams back and exhales. “Sorry, its just, dont be so silly hyung. Whatever the person said it isnt worth hurting yourself over- they probably just spouted lies to big themselves up.” If only Jimin knew the truth then he’d retravt those words in a second, he’d mourn the person he thought Yoongi was and he’d realise the true monster he was living with.

When Jimin realised Yoongi wasnt planning on replying he sighed and got up from the others bed to grab something from Jimin’s owm desk. Returning with a bottle of something in his small hand.

“Its supposed to be for bumps and bruises, my other is overprotective but i guess it actually ended up coming in handy,” Jimin chuckles lightly trying to brighten the atmosphere. And although it does nothing to the tense air, it warms Yoongi a little.

Jimin applies the thing himself to Yoongi’s eye, dodging the actual eye itself and attenpting to apply as little pressue as possible so not to hurt the other. 

“I’m sorry Jimin,” it was something Yoongi never admitted to saying. He wasnt someone who apologised often but he felt like he needed to say it in this moment. He needs to apologise at least once for all the terrible things he’d do to Jimin, all the things he’ll say and all the things he’ll be at fault for the younger witnessing.

“Oh hush, its nothing Yoongi hyung, im just glad youre alright. Wouldnt want you being ill for Jin- sii’s. By what Namjoon hyung was saying at lunch I assume he’s someone to fear,” Jimin laughs again as he accidently brushes against Yoongi’s eyebrow piercing, causing the both of them to fluster a little before ignoring the whole happening at once.

Yoongi forgot about Jin’s.

“I know we dont really know each other, but i am here for you Yoongi hyung,” Jimin said as he finished his soothing motions against Yoongi’s wound and began to put away the cream. However, as soon as Jimin’s heat disappeared from around Yoongi and Jimin’s scent no longer filled the elders nostrils Yoongi pqnicked and grabbed onto the boys arm in pure need. 

Jimin turned his wide eyes on the elder as they had never actually made physical contact before, Jimin has assumed Yoongi was ome of those weird types who couldnt deal with skinship. But the urgency in the elders grip and the pleading look in his eyes made Jimin sit back down.

“Are you oka-“

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Yongi blurted, tesring himself away from Jimin as if the youngers skin was created by flames.

The door slammed behind the elder before he dropped to the floor. His back pressed against the side of the bath tub as his body shook a little. Yoongi knew what was happening, he was having one of his moments, his breath was short and he didnt even know why it was happening now. It couldnt really be called a panic attack as he wasnt stressed or paniced or worried about anything. So Namjon told him to call it a ‘bad moment’. Where his body wants nothing but for Yoongi to slice himself up until he’s nothing but lifeless, numb and empty. 

After all, its easier to be empty than too overwhelmed.

Yoongi always gives in. He always rumages for that blade under his sink and he always pulls up his sleeve to trace a new pattern along his forearm. However, he’s reached the point where making a new scar is almost impossible as the old ones cover every inch of skin, so he just retraces one of the white marks and watches as white turns to red. 

He knows what kills and what hurts and what brinks him inbetween. He knows when he needs to stop although sometimes he doesnt want to. 

Everytime he sits here, its because of words. 

Ether it be his parents disappointment, his bullies overal hate, his friends reassurance, or his own consciences lies. 

Today, it was Jimin.

That beautifuly kind and naive boy should not have to be here for Yoongi. He should not give himself the burden that is a broken and pitiful person. Could he even call himself a person when all he felt was hollow? Maybe not. But Jimin still wanted him in is life. But Yoongi didnt want that for the younger. 

Yoongi knew that shutting the boy out would make him the oppisite of happy. And Yoongi isnt an idiot. So he refuses to leave Jimin alone, he will be there for him, he will be a good hyung, he will be a good friend.

But under no circumstance must Jimin find out. Under no circumstsnce must Jimin know what Yoongi truly does alone. Under no circumstsnce must Jimin know what Yoongi truly thinks of himself.

Yoongi wanted Jimin happy. And he wouldnt be if this Yoongi was the one in his life- so Yoongi cut that little deeper.

Not enough to kill himself. Just enought to warn himself.

And then as guilt drowned him along with his own blood, Yoongi bandaged his arm and pulled his sleeve back down. Put away the razor. Widened his eyes until they fit back into a more neutral state. And walked out of the bathroom. 

For Jimin.


	3. This cage you are trapped in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An insight on the group chat  
> (Short Chapter)

~Group Chat~  
Participants= Jin, Namjoon, Hobi, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin.

Jin- Everybody ready for tonight? Be round mine in like an hour

Yoongi- give up

Namjoon- I love your movie nights baby dont listen to him

Hobi- Keep it in your pants Joon.  
Hobi- I’m down though :)  
Hobi- As long as it isnt a horror...

Yoongi- I’ll come if its horror

Jin- No thats mean Yoongi, it wont be horror

Hobi- Then yeah im definitely coming

Yoongi- So i’m not coming

Namjoon- Yoongi come on

Yoongi- He’s loud. Too loud

Jin- We will put on a horror if you come?

Hobi- iS tHiS sUdDeN fAvOuRiTiSm I sEe?!

Yoongi- I’m coming

Hobi- -_-

Tae- Yo yo yo squad

*Yoongi removed Tae*

Namjoon- Don’t be a dick Yoongi  
*Namjoon added Tae*

Tae- Well that was rude :(

Jimin- TaeeeeeTaeeeee

Tae- Chiminieeeeee

Yoongi- For fucks sake

Jin- Hush Yoongi-bear  
Jin- Anyway, getting to the point  
Jin- Boys, be round mine in an hour? 

Kook- Are you cooking hyung?

Namjoon- Fuck yes he is

Jin- I will be ;)

Jimin- Oh you can cook Jin-sii?

Jin-Call me hyung sweetie  
Jin- And pffft. Can i cook hahahahahaha

Hobi- Oh Jimin youre about to find out what heaven tastes like

Jin- Uhm rude, its better than heaven

Namjoon- It is

Yoongi- Suck ups

Namjoon- Thats right i do suck him up

Jin- NAMJOON! There are children here!

Tae- Ohhhhhhhhhhhh  
Tae- ;);););););););)

Kook- •_•

Hobi- Trust me when i say the children are worse than you two

Jimin- I’ve witnessed it....

Kook- That was ONE time

Jimin- That was the first time i met you!

Hobi- Kook do i need to bring in your past little one?

Kook- So Hoseok you had a foursome once right?

Hobi- You little snake

Namjoon- I need to know this story

Jin- No you dont, we were praising my cooking guys lets get back to that

Yoongi- I really dont want to come

Jin- Well you are so everyone be here thank you

Yoongi- Jimin, turn down your music

Jimin- Why are you messaging me this? We are in the same room

Yoongi- You cant hear me because of your fucking music

Yoongi- Turn down your music

Jimin- Oh... sorry hyung. But youre missing out on good stuff

Hobi- You two are cute  
Hobi- ;);););););)  
Hobi- Give it time and maybe i’ll be the only one in our little friend group who isnt dating another one of us

Yoongi- Fuck off Hoseok i can barely deal with the kid

Tae- Hey! Thats my best friend!  
Tae- Its okay Chim, i love you

Kook- And me

Hobi- And me

Jin- And me sweetie  
Jin- Joonie thats your cue

Namjoon- Uhm i dont really know him

Jin- Joonie.

Namjoon- And me kid

Jimin- Oh my gosh you guyssss

Yoongi- He actually looks like he is about to cry. Youre all idiots

Jimin- No i’m not!   
Jimin- The songs sad

Namjoon- What song is it? I’ll probably know it, i know everything

Jin- My smart baby

Jungkook- Gross

Jimin- The Last by Agust D  
Jimin- He isnt like massively famous but i love his music so much 

Namjoon-...  
Namjoon- Jimin

Yoongi- Don’t fucking do it

Jimin- Whats going on? Do you know of him too?

Namjoon- Uh you could say that

Yoongi- Namjoon.

Jin- Yah just tell the boy

Yoongi- Jin i’ll fucking kill you

Jin- Honey. Call me hyung before i start putting poison in your meals

Jimin- Tell me what?

Taehyung- Tell him what?

Jungkook- I like Agust D!!!!!

Jungkook- Tony Montana is my favourite!

Hobi- A GUY MISSES A LOT WHEN HE GOES TO PEE  
Hobi- OML  
Hobi- IF I WASNT ALREADY ROOTING FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP  
Hobi- HES ALREADY SEEN YOUR OTHER SIDE YOONGI HYUNG

Yoongi- Jung fucking Hoseok  
Yoongi- Wait how the fuck do you know?

Hobi- Uhhh  
Hobi- Jin may have let it slip  
Hobi- (Sorry Jin)

Yoongi- I hate all of you.

Jimin- Hyung where are you going?

Yoongi- Out.

Jin- Sweetie why are you two still messaging each other?

Jimin- I think its easier for him to talk like this

Jimin- I dont even have my headphones in anymore but idk

Yoongi- Stop talking about me  
Yoongi- All of you need to keep your mouths shut  
Yoongi-Jimin i’ll be back to take you to Jin’s in like 40 minutes


	4. It wont be your coffin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little taster of Yoonmin in this one but also a little taster of Yoongi’s depression.
> 
> Basically a chapter of Bangtan playing truth or dare that doesnt really go to plan towards the end~

Yoongi and Jimin were greeted wildy at Jin’s door. The elder was already forcing them to take one of his home-baked cookies. Though he wouldnt admit it, Yoongi seriously did appreciate the talent that was Jin’s cooking; he was surely wasted being stuck as a receptionist.

His living room had been rearranged slightly, the sofas and chairs had been shuffled backwards to create a vast empty space between them and the television- even the coffee table had been moved to the side of the room. 

Jimin hadnt even looked at Jin yet, he was too busy being amazed by the effort that had gone into organising this; there were even seven large pillows placed in a circle in between the chairs with a few plates of snacks enclosed in the middle. It was like what Jimin would see in sappy preteen dramas. 

“Hello sweetie! Its nice to finally meet you, youre even cuter in person,” Jin almost cooed as he reached for Jimin to pull the younger into a hug. But midway through the puzzle pieces in Jimin’s head came together.

“Mr Kim?! What are you doing here sir?!” Jimin still got pressed against the elders chest, so he stayed their unmoving and confused as he waiting for the elder to answer but he just laughed.

“Yeah, sorry Jimin it completely left my mind,” Namjoon decided to help out the poor newbie and explained that Mr Kim was Jin. Kim Seokjin. Namjoon’s boyfriend. 

“Now thats over, where are your beers?” Yoongi asked but didnt make a move to even search, he just flopped onto one of the sofas and lied down along it.

“Yah! You’re supposed to sit on the pillows!” Hoseok yelled at him but the elder made no move to comply. “Taehyung convinced Mom to let us play Truth Or Dare so we created the perfect layout.”

“Hobi darling, call me mom one more time and i’ll call your real one. And Yoongi-bear youre not getting beer today, this is a sober night.”

“Are you fucking k-“

“Yes i’m kidding but we arent drinking yet so do hush and sit on a pillow,” Jin glanced at Jimin before flicking the switch on the large black kettle. “Sweetie go sit by your grumpy hyung and i’ll make you a hot chocolate.”

Hoseok started bouncing around begging for one too before Jimin could even thank Jin. 

Almost seconds after Jimin sat next to Yoongi, whom he was assuming was his ‘grumpy hyung’, Jin had arrived with a plate of hot drinks, obviously handing the black bitter coffee to Yoongi. Jimin wasnt even surprised anymore.

As Yoongi sipped his scolding hot drink, Jimin couldnt help but stare. He didnt know what was wrong with him but he was purely in awe of Yoongi’s now flushed heated cheeks, his pouted lips that wrapped around the brim of the mug, and especially his long sturdy fingers that gripped it in his grasp. Can drinking be hot? Is that a thing? Because Jimin surely thinks Yoongi works it.

Yoongi was an attractive person, Jimin knew that of course. Jimin was also a gay man, it made sense to have a bit of lusting over his exceptionally hot roommate. And if we are delving into details... Yoongi might look a little like young Jimin’s boyfriend fantasies- he used to have a thing for the ‘bad boys’. 

His thoughts, however, her abruptly interrupted as Taehyung began to talk.

“I don’t see the point in waiting, Hobi truth or dare?” Jimin could already see the playful glint in his best friends eye and it reminded him of how years had not change the boy. He was still the same cheeky boy he was and Jimin didnt know if that was bad or admirable.

“Dare me bitch,” Hoseok challenges as he squints his eyes at the boy opposite him; Jin is in front of the telly, then Taehyung to the right, then Jungkook, then Jimin, then Yoongi, then Hoseok, and then ending with Namjoon who was pressed quite closely against his lover.

“Youre not even drunk yet, why are you swearing?” Yoongi pipes up, face as emotionless as ever but Jimin picks up on the slight teasing tone in his voice and smiles.

“Because i’m excited!”

“Swap clothes with Namjoon, thats your dare.”

“You want me to wear his old ass dad clothes?!” Hoseok almosy screeches into Yoongi’s ear who flinches away with a groan- cute.

“Wow okay rude,” Namjoon scoffs as he gets to his feet, unravelling his fingers from Jin’s, making his way to the bathroom with Hobi to get changed.

The room went still when they came back. Hoseok’s top was wuite baggy, as it was on Namjoon, but the shoulders are wider than Hoseok’s fitting so he looked almost seducing with half his chest and both his collar bones on show. His jeans were way to long on his legs and bunched up at the end making him look half stripper half homeless. 

Jungkook was taking photos.

Namjoon looked even better in Hoseok’s... unique... style. He kind of looked like a rainbow cowboy because of his flowey jeans and tight purple t shirt. His little rainbow man purse that hooked onto his jean loops definitly caused a few chuckles here and there.

Een Yoongi laughed. And Jimin found it beautiful. It was a silent breathy laugh but the smile that radiated off of him was unbelievably youthful and contagious. His teeth were all straight and his gums were extrenely on shows. He lost about five years from his usual appearance and it was- something Jimin wouldnt usually associate with the elder- adorable. 

“I think i’m working this,” Hoseok wonders outloud as he pulls the v-line of his tshirt even further down his hairless chest. 

“You keep telling yourself that.”

“Oh shut up Jungkook, truth or dare you little shit,” Hobi asked as a way of revenge against the younger. Jin was still comforting Namjoon in the corner about his current state of outfit.

“Yeah, i’d usually risk it but you seem a little mad so truth,” Jungkook laughs in between words, clearly not taking anything seriously. 

“What’s the dirtiest thing you’ve ever thought about Taehyung?” Hoseok leans back after that, resting onto his hands behind him and staring evilly at the now blushing mess that was Jungkook. 

“Uhm, i...” 

Jin and Namjoon had stopped their little private conversation after they’d heard Hoseok’s questions and now all attention was on the maknae.

“Do i have to?” Jungkook asks, reverting back to his usual shy self in these situations, he glances at Taehyung in a breif beg for help before he gets embarassed by what hes probably having to think about and looks down again at his lap.

“Of course not baby!”

“Pfft yes!”

Namjoon and Taehyung say at the same time and Jimin bursts out laughing. 

Yoongi seems to smile at that too, although he isnt looking at the others hes just staring at Jimin. Maybe Jimin’s laugh is ugly and he’s laughing at him. Or does he have food in his teeth? Whatever it is, the younger is definitly smiling like that because of something the younger had done.

“Sometimes, well, i... I guess i like to think of him filming, him filming me when we- you know,” Jungkook stutters throughout the whole sentence and buried his burning face in his hands, then Taehyung slightly smirks before wrapping his arms around the other. 

“Considering your old job i’m not surprised but i also regret asking as now i cant rid of the image,” Hoseok announces with a slight grimace. And now he’s made Jimin think about it.

“Ugh Hobi hyung!” Jimin crosses his legs in an attempt to make himself smaller in his sudden awkwardness; thats his best friend~!

“Moving on then,” Jin thankfully interjects not waiting for the mortified Jungkook to ask someone a question. “I’m going to get the drinks, baby you ask Jimin the question.”

Everyone stays there confused for a moment, not sure who Jin is talking to because of his multiple pet names he calls everyone.

“Namjoon babe i’m on about you.”

“Right yeah, i knew that,” Namjoon glanced at Jimin, putting his chin in his hand as he takes on Jimin’s form for a moment, almosy analysing him. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth?” Jimin wanted to play it safe for now. He’s played this game with Taehyung before and he is not about to eat ice cream out of anyones belly button today.

“What body part are you most confident in?” It was an almost innocent question and Jimin was unfathomly thanful for that. Although, before he could reply, Jin came back and hamded everyone a can of what Jimin assumed was beer or soju or some sort of alcahol. 

Yoongi opened his within the second, along with Namjoon and Hoseok. Jimin had a feeling only Yoongi could actually hold his liquor though. 

“I guess, uhm i dont know i havnt really thought about it,” Jimin answered truthfully, giving himself a moment to think about it. Taehyung tried to throw random body parts to help but it wasnt really doing anything.

“Eyes?”

“No, they are different sizes.”

“Abs?”

“Its been a while since i had those Tae.”

“Legs?”

“Nah, but i g- Oh! I have it.” Jimin pulled up the shorts he was wearing as high as he could to present his thighs to the group.

“I’ve always liked my thighs i guess! Because, i’m not necessarily a big person but i have big thighs and people seem to like that and so do i to be honest so yeah, done!” If Jimin notcied the way Yoongi’s eyes stuck to his legs for the next five minutes he didnt say anything about it. And if Jimin noticed Yoongi’s flickering eyes because of not so appropriate thoughts then he didnt point it out either.

“Hello there,” Taehyung teases as he tries to lean over his boyfriend to grope at Jimin’s thighs. The latter just lets out a yelp and accidently elbows Yoongi while trying to jerk away.

“Shit, hyung are you okay?! I’m so sorry, are you alright?” Unknown to Jimin the whole room had gone a little tense; it does not take a lot to tick Yoongi off and getting elbowed into his thin ribs probably would cause any usual person to yelp. 

“Its alright just be more fucking careful.”

“I will! I’m still sorry hyung,” Jimin says, realising his hand is still rubbing against the others rib in his attempt to soothe it- not truly remembering what type of person he was dealing with.

“Its fine forget about it Jimin.” 

The look Namjoon gave his best friend sent so many unspoken words and emotions.

“Okay hyung,” Jimin carried on, moving back into his own space. “Jin, truth or dare?” 

And it carried on like that for a while. Jimin had to eat a banana skin to which Yoongi and Jin were staring at with noticeable worry in their eyes. Taehyung and Jungkook had to play gay chicken but Jungkook ended up enjoying it a bit too much as neither of them did chicken out so Namjoon had to stop them both. Hoseok apparently thinks having an asphyxiation kink is romantic as “whats more trusting and intmimate than putting your life in someone elses hands”. Jin and Namjoon have had sex more times in the kitchen than in bed; though Jin apparently gets angry about the lack of hygene each time. Turns out Taehyung has masturbated to two or more people in this room- that didn't go down well with Jungkook so Taehyung told him it was before they met- which basically means Taehyung has jerked off to Jimin; best friend rule apparently be damned. Yoongi has written a song about someone here; multiple people in fact. And finally Jimin has been dared

And now it was Hoseok’s turn again. Yoongi was daring him.

“Kiss Taehyung?” This one question created a disaster no one was ready for- it only started as a joke.

“Yah!” Jungkook yelled, face red with shame or awkwardness or anger- it was hard to tell by now. “That is not happening!” To enunciate this point Jungkook went as far as climbing into the others lap. “Kiss Jimin! He’s single so its fine!”

“No.” 

Everyone paused at Yoongi’s tone of voice, he sounded undoubtfully threatening. 

“Okay uhh-“

Hoseok cut into whatever Jungkook was going to say by trying to lighten the mood. 

“Aww Yoongi’s going soft! Ain’t nobody touching his baby,” Hobi giggles, pretend cooing as the others join in. Jimin smiles a little but is more concerned by watching Yoongi for a reaction.

“Fuck off Hoseok, stop spewing bullshit,” Yoongi hissed, irritated. He wasnt mad per se, he was just clearly uncomfortable. 

Jimin thought he was helping by mumbling a “I dont mind hyung!” but it didnt. Yoongi’s eyes seemed to go through a change of heart but before he could express what was happening, Hoseok sat back down on his pillow amd mumbled something.

“I wouldnt have to ‘spew bullshit’ if you just told me the truth every now and then.”

“Are you calling me a fucking liar? Because thats low Hoseok i swear to-“

“No!” Hobi clearly panics as he knows this argument is silly and only brewing theough a misunderstanding but he dodnt like making Yoongi upset. Because under all this mad, bad boy act he knew Yoongi was just sad; not because he told him that, never because he told him. “You don’t tell me anything hyung.”

“Maybe i like it that way,” Yoongi’s voice is no longer loud, its more of a whisper.

“He has a point hyung,” Jungkook tries to softly intervene, Taehyung sliding his hand into the youngers to support him. “We do worry about you sometimes but you never seem to want to open up to anyone but Namjoon hyung.”

“Maybe thats because he doesnt force it out of me like you're trying to do right now!” Yoongi wasnt yelling, he never really shouted to be honest, he’d just tak very, very sternly. 

“You know that isnt true Yoongi-bear,” Jin decided to intervene and begin to take the attention of the youngers.

“Dont fucking ‘Yoongi-bear’ me right now. I dont get it, you guys know i dont like talking so why are you all suddenly aiming at me. Just fuck off all of you,” Yoongi was getting annoyed now, his hands were clenching in his own trousers and Jimin could see that he wanted to just up and leave. Jimin wanted to help, say something meaningful or hold his hand or do something; but he wasnt on that level of friendship with the elder. He decided to try anyway.

“Guys, i think we should drop it, like this is supposed to be a relaxing night and the pizza will be here soon to watch a movie,” Jimin states, acting calmer than he feels.

“Jimin’s right, leave Yoongi alone, you are all kind of teaming up,” Namjoon adds on, holding Jin’s hand to show he isnt mad at him or anything, just that he knows better. 

“No i’m sorry but fuck this, Yoongi hyung you have to start telling us shit. It isnt fair that Namjoon basically knows you inside out but all we get is a grunt if we so much as ask how you are!” Hoseok, however, is starting to raise his voice now.

“When has life ever been fucking fair Jung Hoseok? Never. So stick your nose out of my business before i fucking break it,” Yoongi snarls, his eyes looking deathly as he stares ome of his closest friends down. 

“Hey, Hoseok that was a shit thing to say after what me and Jimin literally just asked you to do but Yoongi hyung dont be making threats-“

“No Namjoon, he’s being a prick and i want him to know that. He doesnt get it okay?” Yoongi is standing up now, breathing heavily as if he’d just ran a mile. 

“Because you dont fucking tell me!” Hoseok stands up too, arms flailing in dibelief as he looks Yoongi dead in the eye wearing a sad expression. 

“You’d fucking hate me! You’d pity me and i can bet you’d fucking send me away!” Yoongi had now waked backwards a little, turning around to stomp across the living room towards the balcony.

“Yoongi. Hyung. I wouldnt, why dont you trust m-“

“Fuck off.”

The balcony door slammed behind him, he turned the corner so that no one could see him anymore. The room was a deathly silence.

“I’m such a prick arent i?” Hoseok slumps back onto the floor and rubs the palms of his hands into his eyes as Taehyung and Jungkook play with each others interlaced fingers. Namjoon and Jin just observing the room. Jimin cant help but stare at the door Yoongi had just ran out of. 

Namjoon and Jin are comforting Hoseok. Taehyung and Jungkook are comforting each other. Perfect.

No one noticed when Jimin snuck outside, following the older male.

“Leave, Namjoon.”

“Its... I’m not Namjoon,” Jimin breathed out into the smokey air. Yoongi had a cigarette in his mouth and was taking occasional puffs of it; filling his surroundings with the poison that failed its only job of relaxing the elder. 

“I appreciate you sticking up for me Jimin but i still want to be left alone,” Yoongi muttered, barely audible as he was facing the edge of the balcony. 

Jimin sighed at the elder and for a moment Yoongi thought he was going to leave in piry but he didnt; Jimin strutted up next to him and stared at the other for a while before plucking the civarette out his mouth and stomping it into the floor.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Yoongi wasnt actually that mad at Jimin although he would much rather still be inhaling that drug right now. He was mainly in awe at the daring thing Jimin just did to such an ‘unpredictable’ person- everyone always stood on tip toes around Yoongi so maybe he just got used to it- which is why he siddenly feels a tad taken aback.

“I hate smoking. It kills and it smells and it doesnt even look pretty,” Jimin grumbles, the way his thoughtful confidence plays across his face as he finishes smudging the used cigarette into the floor is cute. Really cute. 

“I do it to relax or to distract myself. I’m not sure really,” Yoongi confessed; now he no longer had something to distract his mouth he had to reply, and Jimin was also an easy person to open up to. Yoongi was sad. He knows that, his wrist still hurts from earlier, and each time it lets out a sting Yoongi remembers how much he truly despises himself. He remembers all the struggles he has been through. He remembers the wall he must keep up. He remembers feeling guilty for having friends who care for him. He never wanted to come to Jin’s- if he didnt then maybe it wouldnt end like him just wanting to jump from this ledge. Maybe it wouldnt end with him realising that Hoseok is actually in the right here- they still remain there for Yoongi though he isnt worth it- and he still treats them all like shit. He is shit.

“Yoongi hyung?” Jimin questioned, clealy having asked something that older was too busy self-pitying to hear.

“I dont want to talk Jimin,” it wasn't the truth. He really needed to just sit with someone and spill his heart, but he couldnt burden anyone with the knowledge, so he kept it inside. 

“Okay hyung.” 

As Jimin stepped backwards, Yoongi, yet again, expected Jimin to leave, but surprisingly he stayed. The shorter boy wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist and he pressed his cheeks ahainst the elders shoulder blade; squishing his body into Yoongi’s broad back. 

Yoongi hoped, he hoped so ridiculously hard, that Jimin could not hear how his hesrt freaked out a little at the contact. This wasnt normal right? However, as Jimin squeezed a little tighter and mumbled against Yoongi, the elder realised he didnt fucking care.

“Its okay, you dont have to talk. Just feel better hyung.” Without knowing it, Yoongi needed to hear those words for a while now. His other friends all wanted to know everything and anything about Yoongi’s life; always pushing and shoving for information. But Jimin didnt. Jimin knew not to pressure the elder, he knew he’d be told in time if he presented himself as someone trustworthy.

They stayed there a few minutes, the wind picking up and tossling Yoongi’s overgrowing hair, chilling him a little- but the warmth against his back cancelled that out. He could feel Jimin’s steady breath through his shirt, the smaller’s hands often wiggling into a new position every now and then; and each time a newfound feeling would squeeze at Yoongi’s chest. Unknown to the elder, the younger was even more affected.

“Hyung, you dont have to answer, but i’ve been really curious about this since everyone reacted quite weirdly,” Jimin whispered against the others back. Not moving anything but his lips that pften caught at Yoongi’s tshirt, a circle of fabric growing hot with Jimin’s exhales. “Who’s AgustD?” 

He didnt know why he told him the truth. Even Jungkook and Taehyung didnt know the truth and he’d known them much longer than Jimin. Wether it be the unexplained attachment and empathy he feels for the younger or wether it be overemotion from the few minutes spelt pressed against each other, but Yoongi told him- that one word.

“Me.”

For a moment, he wished he hadnt said anything at all as Jimin’s arms dropped from around Yoongi’s waist as the younger stepped back; thus causing Yoongi to twirl around and face Jimin who was in multiple states of shock, joy and hurt.

“Are you being serious hyung? Youre not lying right?” Jimin marvelled as he stared into Yoongi’s eyes, into his soul.

“I never lie Jimin. If i dont want someone to know something then i say nothing,” Yoongi admitted, again with the random moments of truth that he couldnt help but spill.

“Hyung...” Jimin literally looked on the brink of tears and it made Yoongi vastly uncomfortable. “Hyung, Yoongi hyung youre amazing. Its so... its so sad but so beautiful i dont even know what to say. Youre so talented...” 

Yoongi was used to praise about his music, not to sound egotistic (because trust me he is not), but Namjoon, Jin and Hoseok often fire random statements of pride at him after releases a song. And of course there are the comment section where he gets decent amounts of exaggerated varied opinions. 

“Don’t feel like you have to answer me hyung. Never feel like you have to answer some things i’ll ask because... Its just... Is it true hyung?” Jimin pondered, looking down at his fidgeting hands, just to look back up at the elder with his fucking adorable puppy eyes.

“Is what true?” Croaked Yoongi in reply, staring back at the other while leaning backwards against the balcony railing, body exhausted along with his mind.

“The depression. The anxiety. Your... your parents hyung?” Jimin had never stuttured so much in a conversation, but Yoongi knows its because he recognises this one as serious. Yoongi doesnt reply, he never admits it. It took Namjoon finding him bleeding out in the bathroom to find out the truth behind Yoongi’s long sleeves in the winter. So the elder just stares. And somehow, in some indescribable way, Jimin seems to know. If the you ger pouncing on the elder is anything to go by. 

Yet again wrapping his arms around him, holding tightly around the others neck as he reaches up to tuck his head into the elders shoulder. Yoongi can almost inhale the scent of Jimin’s soft brown hair, but he’s too frozen to realy do anything. Jimin knows Yoongi isnt necessarily okay; of course his songs arent detailed and not once do they mention the way he scars himself, but that doesnt mean that Jimin now has an insight. 

“Don’t worry hyung, there must be rain until you get your pretty rainbow and all the gold that comes with it,” Jimin mumbles into Yoongi’s neck, his lips grazing against his skin and Yoongi’s eyes flutter closed as he returns Jimin’s hug. 

Yoongi thinks that he might have found his rainbow that’ll lead him to his happiness, Yoongi thinks he might be in the arms of that very being.


	5. Get through this- you will be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think im in love with Namjoon at the end of this chapter...
> 
> And his words...

When we returned from outside, surprisingly, no one asked a thing. Jin just made a joke about them taking their time and carried on moving the pillows and sofas back to normal; to Taehyung’s disappointment as his pillow was unmercifully torn from under his ass, causing him to topple backwards and almost hit his head.

Jin directed us to sit on the newly positioned sofas, so wanting a good seat, Yoongi sat himself at the edge of the long couch opposite the television. He likes to have an arm rest by him as he doesnt usually manage to stay awake through any type of film. Like ever. At all.

Hoseok came and sat next to him, and if Yoongi was a hugger then he knew Hobi would be all over him, however the younger just sat there and looked sorrily at the elder.

“I’m sorry hyung, it really wasnt my place, nor the time, to start bugging you like that. It was a dick move. I am reall-“

“Its okay Hoseok, i’m not mad anymore.” Yoongi know she overreacted earlier but he ddint want to admit that because then the conversation would just go on. Thankfully, with a pat to the shoulder Hoseok said no more.

A few moments later, and a few more grunts of frustration from Jin as Namjoon tried to get the tv remote working after dropping it thrice, Hoseok began to shuffle away from Yoongi. For a moment Yoongi was vastly concerned/offended; that was until he saw Jimin begin to squeeze between the two. 

Without saying a word Jimin crammed himself against Yoongi’s side and just sent a bedazzling smile at his hyung, eyes completely disappearing with the sencerity. Yoongi looked away. 

Every part of his body that touched Jimin was on fire and as time went by Yoongi started to internally curse Namjoon, along with Jin, for taking so long whilst he was left here to suffer. 

Things only got worse from then on; all because Jin’s bribe of a horror film turned out to actually be true.

Hoseok and Jimin were clearly not enjoying themselves. Everytime anything happened Jimin catapulted himself into Yoongi, smushing his soft cheeks into Yoongi’s chest, undoubtfully hearing his unsteady heartbeat- that was not caused by the film. Hoseok only made the situation worse by a tenfold by screeching as loud as he could woth every jump scare, producing more fear to rattle through Jimin. 

To make it that little bit worse, after a bery violent scare Jimin almost ended up in Yoongi’s lap; Jimin then worsening the situation by looking up into Yoongi’s eyes and whispering an apology as his reddened cheeks were still pressed against the elders chest. Usually this would annoy Yoongi sith the constsnt ohysical contact and awardly stern gripping at his body, but Yoongi sort of liked it; Jimin found comfort in Yoongi being here- though Yoongi does believe Jimin just finds comfort in someone being there- it makes him feel a little special. Jimin makes him feel wanted.

For once, Yoongi had a feeling that he wasnt going to sleep his way through this film.

When the younger began to make little whimpers at the screen as he clung onto Yoongi’s arm, the latter was forced to attenpt to stifle his laugh. It didnt work.

“Are you laughing at me hyung!? This is petrifying!” Jimin scolded quietly to Yoongi, trying not to jolt the others. His eyes now torn away from the screen, Jimin looked at Yoongi with half betrayal and half amusement, with a little fesr still etched into his features of course.

It made Yoongi chuckle a little more.

Jimin hit his shoulder but began to smile at the olders laugh; it was a beautiful laugh. Jimin hadnt really seen Yoongi smile but right now he didnt care about anything apart from the pureness on the soft breaths Yoongi was releasing. His gums on full show, his eyes now forming crescents. Jimin felt almost privileged and prideful- he had caused a wounded person to have just the smallest moment of happiness. And it was prettier than anything. 

The two had been so caught up in each other that they didnt notice the now black screen and the eyes that were turned to them.

“Uh we had to turn it off as Jungkook thought Hobi hyung was honestly about to die,” Namjoon interjected, and upon hesring his announcing voice, Yoongi stopped laughing and turned to face him. Jimin wanted to moan at the loss of the moment but realised that it was okay; hed already emgraved every part of Yoongi’s glorious laughing face into his memories. 

“It was shit anyway,” Yoongi commented, curling up into the sofa as if to nap. Though he paused when his position began to shove Jimin’s thigh a little on top of his. 

“Like you were even watching Yoongi-bear,” Jin said without hesitation, though he seemed to regret the statement right after; so before Jimin or Yoongi could decypher what he was saying he jumped up and began to talk again.

“Who wants cake and warm milk before bed?” 

“I havnt had warm milk since i was three what the fuck type of mentality i-“

“Yoongi! Do not disresepct my life choices, nor swear at me, nor forget to call me hyung i swear to god. Anyway, who wants milk? Im getting everyone cake, you have no choice in that part i changed my mind,” Jin rambles as his eyes scan the room as if waiting to see hands raising in the air like preschoo-

Everyone puts their hands up par Yoongi.

“Come on hyung, trust me,” Jimin drawls, nudging into the elder.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Yoongi replies but still manages to raise his arm up with a groan.

“Thats what i thought,” Jin snides as he waks into the kitchen, Yoongi’s heart secretly softens when he looks at the way Namjoon smiles unbearably at his boyfriends retreating figure.

~~~~~~~~~

Before he can wallow in his own misery that relays again and again from his day to day life, Yoongi is some-fucking-how being dragged to some random frat party of a guy Namjoon knows; Jackson he thinks the boys name is?

He has been told that EVERYONE is coming. Everyone being him, Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Taehyung, Jungkook and well, Jimin. He was comfortable around like, hmm, let him think. One. He was only comfortable around one of the people he was going with. Dont get him wrong, he likes Jin and Hoseok and Jimin (although he barely knew him), the others however hadnt yet given Yoongi a reason to like or trust them. So add a whole crowd of unknown and unknowing people. Alcohol. Probably drugs. Too loud music. Too touchy girls. Too manly boys. Darkness. And no where to breathe. Sounds fucking fun right? No, not at all.

“It will be an escape.” Yoongi replied that he learned long ago only music and Namjoon provide that.

“You can get to know the others more.” Yoongi says he doesnt want to. But he didnt say that only applied to the youngest two.

“You never know, you could find someone.” Yoongi didnt reply that for some reason, the idea of dating or fucking anyone didnt appeal to him recently. 

“Come for me?” Yoongi didnt say anything back but if he was to do anything for anyone. Its Namjoon. 

Yoongi has been to parties before- to find someone to fuck his pain away with. But as he didnt want that right now, and his wrist was still sore from his last relapse, he seriously wasnt in the mood. 

~~~~~~~~~

“Oh come on Hobi, like you could ever resist me,” one of the girls, who had taken it upon themselves to join the group of friends, giggled as she clung onto Hobi’s arm, half in his lap if Yoongi was being honest. Its not that he didnt like the girl, she was actually quite a fun and interesting person, Yoongi just didnt like strangers. Especially drinking with them. He said things when drunk. 

That was the sole reason he was drinking less that usual today; however his ‘less than usual’ is everyone elses ‘alcahol poisoning’ so no one noticed his hesitancy. 

Hobi’s new girl of the night, Jisoo her name was, laughed before pulling Hoseok to the floor to dance. One of her other friends, the one with the fringe, Lizzy? Laura? L something went with her. 

Barely seconds after Taehyung whispered something to Jimin before pulling his lap dog along with him to the dance floor. Yoongi didnt trust those two. They were young, talkative- but the type where you know theyll talk about everythung but things with meaning or relevance- they were people you went to parties with and bitched to. Not people worth trusting or forming bonds with; theyll either fuck your best friend or fuck your life.

So all that was left was Jimin, Namjoon (only because he didnt want to leave Yoongi), Jin (only because he didnt want to leave Namjoon who didnt want to leave Yoongi), Yoongi and two random girls that seemed to know everyone but Yoongi. 

Seemingly braver due to his intoxicated state, Yoongi decided to inquire about this.

“Oh they are all in Hobi, Jungkook and Jimin’s dance class. Taehyung knows Lisa and Rosé from acting class. And well, I’m literally the receptionist to this school so i see them all enough. Oh, also Namjoon has physics with Jennie,” Jin answered for him as Jimin nodded along, smiling at who he assumed was Jennie, they actually seemed pretty close. 

Yoongi realised now that he’d seen Jin with Rosé outside of school before.

“Uhm Jin hyung,” Jimin looked hesitant to reply, Yoongi noticed that Jennie had shuffled closer to Jimin. “I dont mean to sound rude, but like.. if youre a teacher how the everliving fuck are you at a student party?”

Jimin’s brain to mouth filter seemed to get a little hazy as he drank, and he had drank quite a bit.

“Oh its okay sweetie, none of the students really feel like dobbing me in. I’m clearly too pretty for that and I let them go home with anything worse than a papercut so they dont want to lose me.”

“That sounds fake but okay,” Yoongi muttered under his breath as Namjoon elbowed him solidly which just proved Yoongi’s train of thought.

“Of course youre too unresistable, i mean who could say no to that face,” Rosé commented with a laugh as Jin blew one of his fucking flying kisses at her.

Jennie caught Yoongi rolling my eyes and smiled widely at me, any smile that formed on his face dropped as he looked back at her. Hers did soon after, probably confused at Yoongi’s sudden distate for her when they only met today. He had his reasons. Like the way her hand was currently resting atop Jimin’s thigh. 

Yoongi didnt want to think too much into why this affected him, he isnt an idiot, but he didnt want to confront it right now. 

Maybe thats why he just up and left to go find someone with a decent ass to fuck.

~~~~~~~~~

“Where’d the cute friend go?” Rosé asked Namjoon as Jin scoffed at her. “I said cute not perfect, dont worry Jinnie oppa you still own the title.”

Jimin stopped listening in to their conversation, even though he really did want to know where Yoongi had ran off to, he didnt seem to be someone who was that into parties. And if Jimin was beig completely honest.... hes heard the mixtape. Yoongi had (has?) a fucking social phobia and anxiety. Jimin didnt want to just ignore the guys absence when anythung could be hapoening. Like what if-

“About your friend Jimin, did he ever talk about me? Like has he said anything about how i might of offended him?” Jennie asked seeming way to solemn for someone half cut and as exciteable as she is.

“Uh not that i know of? He doesnt really talk on a whole if im honest. I wish he did, i feel like he actually has such an exciting and intriguing personality when he's not all broody and shitty...”

“Uh Jimin, are you two close?”

“No not really, I’m closer to you than him if that helps perspective. I wish we were in a way, all our friends are but i also dont think he even talks to his own friends. Other than Namjoon maybe...” Jimin replies, looking off into the crowd as if he’ll simply see Yoongi’s figure approaching.

“Yah! We are at a party! I didnt mean to start a sob fest so get that model worthy ass and cone with me- we are gonna join the others dancing Mr Park,” Jennie gently slapped him on the shoulder and Jimin just giggled and followed through.

“After you Miss Kim.”

~~~~~~~~~

The other male pushed Yoongi against the hallway wall as he pressed hus tongue harder against his. The other was a great kisser, sloppy but they were both drunk ao technicalities didnt concern Yoongi all do much.

Other tha the fact, it felt good but it didnt. His body was begging to drag this guy somewhere private and let him bounce on Yoongi’s dick but his heart was beating agressively like an alarm, ringing through his head and telling him to stop.

Yoongi just didnt... feel like it. His hesrt was elsewhere.

As the, rather insanely attractive, guy whos name Yoongi had forgotten (something western), got down to his knees and began tugging at Yoongi’s zipper, he panicked.

“Wait,” Yoongi stuttered out, pushing at the guys shoulders. “Stop, i dont want to do anything.”

“You a virgin? Im okay with that you know, its kinda hot,” the other started palming at Yoongi’s crotch while he looked up to see any reaction. Yoongi hated his body for reacting. 

“Please just... fucking get off me.” 

“See, i was really hoping i could make the feisty one quiver as i fucked him but youre getting a little hard to handle now- its losing its attraction,” the guy snarled, standing again to literally bite at Yoongi’s neck. 

Yoongi timed hus shive wringly and the guy’s teeth scraped aling his neck, he could feel the skin tear.

“Fuck off, i’m not kidding, if you dontstop touching me right fucking now i’ll-“

“You’ll what? Hmm?” The guy stepped back but kept a hold on Yoongi’s wrist, slightly grimacing at the sight of Yoongi’s neck. “Call for help? Get someone to come rescue your little faggot ass? We are in korea bro, you seriously think anyone will be willing to get involved?” He literally wants to fuck me and is calling me a faggot. Someone needs to send this kid back to his own country. 

“Oh fuck off, some people here have decent respect for humanity,” it was lies but he needed to sound strong and supported. “I have my friends out there, gay too by the way, and they’ll be looking for me right now. So if i havnt beat your ass by the time they get here, then they sure will,” Yoongi hated to sound like he needed other people to fend for him but he couldnt just be the only threat to a man who saw him as nothing less that a slut.

The guy looked momentarily perplexed but just ended up laughing, loud and hawty and god damn smug. Yoongi wanted to rio this fuckers tongue from his big ass mouth. 

“Jason? Jason is that you? Chaeyoung is looking for you, you shit. You cant-“

Yoongi’s harasswr shoved a hand over Yoongi’s as a look if almost dread drowned his features.

“Shut up and dont tell a soul that you have ever even looked me in the eye or i’ll make your life a living hell. Piss off and think carefully about what ive said unless you want me to do a better job at ripping your throat out with my own fucking teeth.”

“Fuck you Jason,” Yoongi spat, literally spat, the name as he kneed the guy in the dick before legging it to the closest toilet.

The only accomplishment his arrival in this shitty little toilet brought was a spearing stab of self hatred as Yoongi glared at himself in the mirror.

Couldnt even fucking get away from a rapist.

Couldnt even defend himself.

Couldnt even control his fucking creepy infatuation with Jimin.

Couldnt even pretend to play nice with the girls.

Couldnt even stop himself from almost scaring one away.

Couldnt fucking have a nice time without always ruining it for himself and everyone around him.

Couldnt even go to a party without failing.

Couldnt even live without wanting to die.

But couldnt ever actually commit.

The noise is the thing that finally snapped Yoongi out of it. Not the pain of his fist or the sight of the smashed mirror or even the blood that now dripped from his knuckles. But the sound of the shattering that Yoongi reminded him of his heart in more way than one. 

To make matters worse, a large shard of glass had fallen into the sink, perfectly triangular and currently clean of any blood. 

His relapses were getting so common he didnt think he could call them relapses anymore. It was a constant. Almost a routine. 

And his chest was aching for the feeling.

So he picked up the shard.

As soon as he gripped the cold glass in his hand the door swung open. Yoongi dropped the shard and stepped away from the mirror, accepting that he couldnt fucking hide now and woukd have to face whoever it was.

Namjoon.

It was Namjoon. He’d came. Just like he always does. 

However, so suddenly after he was filled with releif he was filled wth dread. 

Namjoon’s face was half worry and half disapointment at the sight of Yoongi.

Standing next to a broken mirror which he had so clearly broken himself if the state of his fist was anything to go by. But also with his left sleeve rolled up, scars all on show as a large bloody glass shards scattered the floor beneath his feet.

“Shit, Yoongi hyung...”

When Namjoon stepped forward, Yoongi did not flinch, he never backed away from Namjoon. He had no excuse to; the younger had been there for him since childhood, through thick and thin and hell and torture and abuse and doubt and all of Yoongi’s messed up shit. So he let him embrace him. And he sobbed a little into his shoulder. 

“You know we’ll have to talk about this,” Namjoon whispered and Yoongi silenced his sobs. “Not right now, i know you’ll never want to but im not taking no for an answer. Tomorrow we’ll talk. But for now im going to take you home and put you to bed Yoongi hyung.” 

“I’m sorry...”

“Shut up man dont start this you know its not-“

“But Joon i ruined yet another of your nights just because i cant fucking control my life and-“

“Shut the fuck up man. I love you. And no- before you say it- you are not a fucking burden in my life. I love you and youre going to have to start dealing with the fact that id do all sort of shit for you. Now come on, lets get you home.”

“I don’t have one.”

“I doubt that hyung, im not blind, i see how you look at him.”


	6. Hold your head up high- live another day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its short, but i really wanted this to be its own chapter; as although it isnt much, a lot progresses. 
> 
> I also just want to say thank you for everyone that reads, gives kudos and comments. I wish i had time to reply to each and every comment but work wont let me, so just know that i greatly love all of you.

As soon as Yoongi catches sight of his roomate sat up straight in bed, void of emotion, he tears his hand from Namjoon’s and cery slightly bows at the younger as he doesnt think he could manage to start a conversation right now. 

However, it doesnt really go to plan, because as soon as Jimin notices the others he darts out of bed and grabs Yoongi tearing him into a hug. Yoongi tries to resist but his hesrt doesnt seem with it. 

“How could you Yoongi hyung, i thought you were hurt! Do you know how long ive been sat here waiting for you, i couldnt help but think of so many bad things that could have happened to you, I- Are you okay?” Yoongi face was completely cartoonish with shock, his eyes were wider than usual, his mouth hanging limply open and his body stiff.

“I.. I’m fine.”

“Yoongi hyung,” Namjoon warned, having enough of hearing the lies behind those words. Yoongi ignored him. Not yet. 

“Yoongi hyung, I wasnt only worried... I- I’m kind of hurt, and well pretty pissed off,” this clearly took both Yoongi and Namjoon by surprise as they just stared down at the younger. “You couldnt even message me the whole night. One message would suffice, like do I... do I seriously mean so little you?”

Contrary to Yoongi’s screaming anger, Jimin was quit, but in a way that you still knew you were being scolded. It was worse, so much worse. So why the fuck was Namjoon smiling?!

“Jimin, no that isnt it, i was just busy and-“

“For fucks sake Yoongi, tell him, Jin knows already so what is it going to hurt if you tell Jimin?” Jimin was unsure what the cinversation had turned to now but it was easy to recognise Namjoon’s ever decreasing patience was now wesring thin over whatever this is. 

“Namjoon tell me youre fucking kidding or i swear to-“

“Yoongi hyung, i’m not kidding. It will help you! You know what Jin’s like, hes basically family now and-“ Namjoon seems to realise that hes done something wrong and helplessly tries to explain himself, but Yoongi already lost it at the “i’m not kidding”.

“Get out.”

“Wait, hyung, maybe-“

“Shut up Jimin. Namjoon get out of my dorm right now before i fucking rip your face off and send it in a pretty little box for your nosy fucking whore,” Jimin’s breath hitched at the poisonous tone in Yoongi’s voice. Still not sure of the situation completely, but Jimin can recognise that Namjoon’s been telling his boyfriend things he shouldnt. But how bad could it be for Yoongi to be so... disgustingly insulting. 

“I know youre mad at me,” Yoongi scoffs and steps a little forward into Namjoon’s space. Which must be a bit of a sight due to the size difference. “But those words were entirely uncalled for and youve crossed a line now Min Yoongi. We will talk about this later when youve finally grown up and you stop pushing everyone away in favour of wallowing in your own fucking swlf pity.”

Namjoon leaves, shutting the door a bit more aggresively than he has the right to in Yoongi’s eyes.

“Hyung...” Jimin’s clearly fearful of his boundaries in whether he can talk or not. If Yoongi wasnt so full of rage then he’d probably feel guilty at the sight of the vastly uncomfortable boy.

“Leave me alone Jimin, i’m not mad at you but if you keep pushing me i soon will be,” he didnt mean it to come off so... threatening? He just really didnt want to hurt the only person he had left right now. Hoseok was still on edge around him, even though no one else could tell due to Hobi’s constant electric personality, but being the object of his avoidance it was clear to see. 

“Yoongi hyung, please, please dont be mad at me,” Yoongi was already sat on his desk avoiding eye contact with the younger. However, he was still paying attention to every little action Jimin made and every word he spoke. Which is why his stomach suddenly filled with dread. “I saw you hyung. With that man. I saw him lead you into that corridor but i assumed... just uh is your disappearance anything to do with him?” 

Yoongi’s whole body had stiffened. He knew Jimin wasnt homophobic, he was friends with the fucking porn star boy for god sake. His best friend was dating said underage porn star. But it still had him awkward that Jimin knew; because well, it always is awkward when the guy your affection is aimed at finds out your into the same sex in the first place.

However, Jimin knowing that Yoongi liked ass wasnt his biggest priority right now when images of the man from the party fucking grabbing all over his body flashed into his head, swarming like wasps that stung at all possible angles.

Jimin has always been to fucking observant. Though to him it wasnt that hard to decypher when the elder was literally subconsciously covering himself with his arms.

“Shit hyung I- hyung im so sorry. I know me apologising does nothing to help you overcome this, and i know with the things youre already going through this must hurt, and now Namjoon’s telling Jin, and shit Yoongi hyung. I’m always here hyung whether you want to tell me anything or not, if youve been through something, do what Namjoon said and dont push everyone away, dont push me away. You dont have to tell me or show me anything hyung, i just want you to come to me when somethings happend and i’ll take you to lunch or we’ll watch an anime, or i’ll just cry over math and force you to help so you can at least keep your mind away from the negative thing that i know will eat you up,” Jimin stops to breathe for a moment, his face a little redder from his sudden outburst. “Please just let me know if you need a distraction.”

Everything seems to slow for a moment, the creak of Yoongi’s chair as the elder turns to face Jimin and the breath that Jimin breathes and the movements of Yoongi as he comes to sit beside Jimin on his bed. 

“Jimin..”

“Hyung?” Jimin speaks so lowly its less than a whisper, but Yoongi still hears.

“Lets watch an anime?” Yoongi says it so void of any emotion but the words hold so much behind them that Yoongi even notices the tears Jimin’s beggingg himself to witheld in his crescent eyes that smile up at him. Fuck this isnt going to end well in the long run. But for now its okay, Jimin makes Yoongi feel less unhappy and Yoongi, though he hates to admit it, thinks he has started to need Jimin in his life. 

Jimin sniffles before speaking and reaching for his laptop.

“Of course, hyung.”


	7. Pain is only temporary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so thankful to those in the comments who have been complimenting my viewpoints on both depression and how people deal with it. As someone who has previously been in Yoongi’s position it means a lot to me that i am portraying everything how i had aspired to.
> 
> I am also hoping to get a career within psychological illnesses and such; therfore, im so pleased that my words are making sense/making an impact on you. 
> 
> So just thank you. To everyone. Readers. Commenters. Everyone.

The world slowly came to Yoongi in the form of a ridiculously bright light that shone directly in fromt of his eyes, through the only window they have in their dorm. For once, in a very long time, Yoongi didnt feel any fatigue or grouchyness after an unsatisfactory nap. He felt almost content.

However, a little rush of panic surged through him as he realised he wasnt capable of moving his leg, arm and basically the whole right side of his body. That panic turned into something akin to pleasure mixed with anxiety as Yoongi took in the sleeping boy half draped across that certain sude of his body. Jimin’s leg was hooked over Yoongi’s so that his knee was millimetres shy of grazing over the others crotch. The younger had his head resting on top of Yoongi’s shoulder and an arm was wrapped tightly across Yoongi’s broad form. 

A sigh escaped the elders lips as he reached his other arm to move stray hairs from the sleeping boys face, only to notice that his sleeve had ridden up during the night.

Shit. He had to be more careful. Shit shit. 

Yoongi didnt take the time to think before he roughly bit into his sleeve, due to his other arm being trapped under Jimin, and tore his shirt down over the scars. Delicacy had surpassed Yoongi’s thoughts as his minds only aim was to cover his wrist, but along with the harsh scrape of his sleeve came the grating of the fabric against his recent cuts. 

“Fuc-!” Yoongi bit sharp on his lip to stop the pained frustrated from being voiced. However, it was a little to late, Jimin had already awoke.

“Hyungie?” He mumbled into Yoongi’s shoulder and all pain and worry seemed to melt as the elder processed his word. Fuck he couldnt be more adorable.

If Yoongi was being honest with himself, when his not so friendly feeings for Jimin first arose Yoongi believed that it was only because Jimin cared. Yoongi wasnt used to people being... understanding and just... kind. So Yoongi, instead of facing facts, told himsef he didnt like Jimin, he just liked the thought of having someone who was there for him. Its in moments like these where Yoongi realises thats all bullshit.

“Hey...” was all Yoongi managed to say before blatantly staring down at the smaller boy who didnt seem to be uncomfortable in said position, more specifically, Jimin actually wrapped around Yoongi tighter.

“Please tell me you dont have class hyung. I’m too tired to move~” The tiredness in his voice on the placement of his mouth pressed against the cotton if Yoongi’s shirt made the whole sentence resemble a purr, and Yoongi wasnt doing very well in reacting calmly to that. 

“I er- I dont have class but i have to write some lyrics so Im going to go to the internet cafe to er you know... write.” Wow okay Min Yoongi Mr Famous Rapper struggling to form a decent sentence when he can usually fire more than 10 syllables a second of straight fact. 

Yoongi couldnt descrive the noise Jimin made in response. A mix between a moan, groan, grumble, sigh and simple ‘ugh’. 

“Go shower then hyung, i’ll be up in a minute,” Jimin mumbled as he shoved at Yoongi and flopped onto the other side if the bed. Usually Jimin was the morning person who got up bright and early, but maybe Yoongi’s absence last night stressed the younger out more than either of them thought possible. 

“Wait wait, why are you getting up? Just stay asleep, i’ll be quiet leaving like-“

“Im coming with you silly,” Jimin sighed as he turned back around to face the elder who was now sat up in bed, blanketless as Jimin had torn it off him two seconds ago in favour of wrapping it around his own muscular frame.

“But I-“

“Let me sleep hyung~ You dont get a choice now go shower,” his words were followed by more random pushes, his hands may be small but his shoves were oretty forceful. 

Yoongi didnt know why Jimin was insisting on accompanying him to the cafe. It was really going to be nothing exciting for the younger, but it also seemed ironically fitting that the current muse for his lyrics was going to join him in the process of writing them. Yoongi didnt understand a lot of things Jimin did, but he was starting to feel like he needed to learn.

~~~~~~~~~

Whilst walking down the agonisingly long street that Jimin knows will end with “Blue Bears Cafe”, Yoongi seems to dip in and out of conversation. He doesnt start any himself, but he does carry it on after Jimin brings something up and all things considered, Jimin will take that. 

“But to be honest hyung, i think NF is the... type... to... “ Jimin doesnt stop mid sentence, he fades out gradually as he loses track of his words in favour of peaking at what Yoongi was holiding away from him.

A cigarette.

“No,” Jimin says flatly as he reaches over the elders frame, which is a lot more difficult than it sounds. Jimin is almost pressed against the other as he tries to stretch his shorter arms across Yoongi’s wide shoulders to grab at the cigarette. Hes always hated those things. His mother used to smoke and as a child he refused to ever hug her until hours after. Its one of the only negative things about Jimin’s mother that he recollects, the stench of her breath and clothes after coming back into the house. And, as cliche as it sounds, smoking does kill and he’s tired of people not taking that seriously because it isnt so short term. “Just no hyung, gimme that.” 

Yoongi only just clicks on to what Jimin’s attempting to pluck from his fingers and momentarily gives the younger a weird look, Jimin taking advantage of that moment of distraction to snatch the bud out of Yoongi’s long fingers. 

“I didnt know you smo...ked.” Before Yoongi could finish his last word the cigarette was already smushed and crumbled into the pavement and Jimin had already began stepping over it to walk off.

“You just cost me a pound Jiminie, what the fuck was that for?” Unknown to others Jimin knew the elder couldnt be that mad. He called him Jiminie. 

“I didn't cost you anything, you're actually in debt to me. You're welcome hyung! I just gave you more time to live,” Jimin purposely flaunted his exaggerated smug face at the elder before fumbling in his backpack.

“Yup, living longer is exactly what i want. Thanks,” Jimin stopped in shiffling through his bag to stare guiltily at Yoongi. Jimin only really took in the notations of his words, oh my gosh Jimin kind of royally fucked up.

However, Yoongi didnt look hurt or depressed or taken aback or angry. He was smiling at his dongsaemg giddily. It had been a joke? Half of Jimin was in a fixed state of awe at the elders power to make that joke, Jimin knew he wasnt very mentally healthy, and he knew if anyone else made that joke it’d be a horrible thing to say. But it wasnt anyone, it was Yoongi. It was his own weird way of acceptance within himself and that is what made Jimin smile back at the elder. That other half of Jimin... was also in a state of awe... but this time it was Yoongi’s adorable, personality conflicting, gummy smile that took at least 10 years away from Yoongi’s usual brooding face. Damn, Yoongi is so underatedly beautiful.

Just in that moment, Jimin felt his knuckles brush against the wrapper of just what he was looking for. He pivoted his hand to grasp the sweet and pull it out, automatically extending both hands to Yoongi after sliding his tattered backpack back on his shoulders. 

“Why are you giving me this?”

Jimin just shoved it further into the elders face with a slight sigh.

“They say it helps hyung, it keeps your mouth occupied without gradually killing you. It breaks you out of habit too apparently,” Jimin recites, pushing the sweet slightly closer to Yoongi with each phrase.

When Yoongi just glared ludicrously at Jimin’s hands, half confused and half judging, the younger dropped his arms and groaned animatedly.

“Fine, if its more to your liking you could have something tastier to keep your mouth occupied,” Jimin winks at the elder seconds before bursting out laughing at Yoongi’s entirely aghast at Jimin’s words. At the sound of Jimin’s cackling laugh Yoongi’s cheeks brighten as he trips a little before walking off towards the cafe.

Jimin takes a moment to compose himself, and to check that the look on Yoongi’s face is etched into his brain, before running after the latter.

“Hyungie~ I was kidding, I was kidding!” Jimin breathed out through laughs and unsteady breathing after his jog. The elder just glared before mumbling something along the lines of “just give me the fucking lolly”. 

~~~~~~~~~

After a ridiculously dragged out hour of boredom at the cafe, Jimin was getting unspeakably bored with everything. Long ago Yongi had gotten dragged into his work, only glancing up at the younger for ansecond every now and then, wheter to check if hes still there or whatever, Jimin was incredulously bored. Really really really fricking bored. 

“Hyung?” Ignored.

“Hyung?!” A glance. 

“Hyungie?” Shushed.

“Yoongi.” Back to being ignored.

“Yah!” Jimin got a likkle scolded for that one. He was told he was a brat and that he should respect his elders and let him work.

“But hyung.” Ignored a-frigging-gain.

Jimin nudged Yoongi’s elbow. The elder just tutted and moved his whole laptop away from the younger. (Jimin didnt know that Yoongi had stopped working as soon as the first syllable left the youngers mouth.)

After attempt after attempt after miserable attempt, Yoongi seemed to have a willpower of steel when it came to ignoring Jimin and it was really starting to get frustrating for the dancers. (Little did he know that Jimin was the only thing Yoongi was actually giving his attention to.)

An idea struck Jimin and he almost howled with laughter at how he assumed it would turn out. Without giving it much thought or hesitation he decided to go for it, Yoongi didnt seem the type to get all cultural and triggered over it.

And just like Jimin thought. Yoongi definitly gave him attention then. Considerably more that Jimin had even hoped for. So did the poor waitress who came to collect their coffee mugs but instead got an earful of whatever the hell you called it. 

“Jimin oh my fucking- You cant just say that in public and... Jimin christ,” Yoongi’s pale face presented his blush so much more than the average korean and Jimin freaking adored it. 

“Wow didnt know you had an extreme Oppa kink hyung, maybe i should keep that in mind for later,” Jimin giggled as he wiggled his eyebrows at the elder boy who refused to keep his eyes focused on one thing.

“Oh fuck of Jimin, jeez, i actually have to finish this for class and i dont know why i even let you come if all you were gonna do was chat shit and distract me,” Jimin just stayed silent in reply, his smile dropping a little as he looked at Yoongi. 

“Wait Jiminie, no, im not mad! That came out so much harsher than i intended- fuck. Jiminie im so glad you came with me and like youve been hlping with my lyrics more than you know and i get that it must be boring and-“

Jimin, yet again, cracked and almost choked on his laughter. The elder’s (although permanently stoic to others who dont know him) worried expression vanished, replaced with the exact replica of that straight faced emoji. It just made Jimin laugh more.

(Yoongi decided that Jimin’s laugh was his favourite sound.)

~~~~~~~~~

After watching Yoongi work all day and wondering around the streets near their school, they finally areived home at about 5pm. 

They both went to their seperate beds and Jimin rambled about everything and anything to the other, whom was now writing notes on his English homework. 

“Wait Jiminie, why did you have that lolly in your bag anyway? Like you knew how much it helped smokers and everything so like, did you smoke?” Jimin bit back the giggle of broody and dark Yoongi saying the word ‘lolly’ and decided to calmly answer him. 

“No no no, god no. I just like the lollies. My mother always used to buy them for me whenever we went to the shops. My favourite are the orange ones, ever since i was little my nan used to tell me that my hair would start growing the same vibrant orange of the lolly if i carried on eating them all the time. My nan was actually the one who told me all about the smoking thing, she tried to get me to start making my mother buy herself ome everytime she bought me one. It didnt work no matter how much me or my nan tried. They still remind me of her to be honest, she was an amazing woman my nan was,” Yoongi had stopped writing his homework and took to scanning Jimin’s features and body for any sign of discomfort. Aside from the obvious mixture of love and loss on his face, he seemed okay. It inspired Yoongi a little due to he easily he had just opened up. 

“Thats a beautiful story Jiminie.”

“Thank you,” Jimin smiled brightly at Yoongi and, completely taking the younger aback, the elder smiled brightly back. It was a whole face splitting smile, scrunching his eyes and showing all his teeth. 

Jimin joked about his hyung starting to turn as sappy as himself; thus causing Yoongi to scoff at Jimin, who proceeded to make fun of the elder.

In that specific moment, both boys had thought the exact same thing. 

‘I could get used to this.’


	8. Dying isnt necessary

~Group Chat~  
Participants= Jin, Namjoon, Hobi, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin.

Taehyung- Is everyone free tomorrow night?

Taehyung- Jungkook wants to go bowling with the whole squad and he smashed his mock exams so i wanted to reward him

Hobi- I’m surprised you didnt just tie him up or wear lingerie or something

Namjoon- No one ever do anything nice for Hoseok if those are his type of fucking ‘rewards’

Jin- Dont swear in front of the children honey

Jungkook- *gags*

Hobi- *on Tae’s dick

Jungkook- This is like im in a chat with my gross parents and creepy sexual uncle

Taehyung- ooh ooh who am i?

Jungkook- uh my boyfriend?

Taehyung- Boringggggg

Taehyung- Maybe i could be the daddy ;)

Jin- Nah, Joonie already is

Jin- Wait

Jin- Eh, i mean it both ways

Jungkook- Theres a line

Taehyung- And your way past crossing it

Namjoon- *you’re

Taehyung- Oh hush daddy

Jimin- I love bowling!!!

Jungkook- Theres everyones favourite cousin!

Jimin- Thats a cute role, I’ll accept that

Taehyung- Wait yeah whos coming bowling

Jungkook- Me obviously, i deserve a reward

Taehyung- Yes you do baby

Jimin- Please stop

Yoongi- Breathing

Taehyung- Why does no one see the line

Jungkook- GRANDPA

Yoongi- Fuck off im here gor free bowling and food

Jimin- “gor”

Hobi- Its free?

Jin- Me and Joon are down then

Taehyung- wut

Taehyung- Whys it free

Yoongi- Youre paying right

Taehyung- Uh no

Yoongi- You want to reward your boyfriend but wont even pay a little money to let him and his mates have a bowling game?

Namjoon- ...wow Yoongi’s sly

Taehyung- Oh shut up

Hobi- Ooh drop him while you can Kook

Taehyung- Im paying for Kookies!!!

Jin- Awwww

Namjoon- And not ours?

Jimin- Y’all stop winding him up lol

Hobi- Did he just ‘y’all’ and ‘lol’ in the same sentence...?

Jin- Its fine, its Jimin

Namjoon- What does that even mean

Taehyung- Hes too cute to question

Jimin- hwykgneyusLtjyek

Yoongi- Can we get to the point so i can sleep without you all blowing up my phone?

Namjoon- Yoongi its 2pm, didnt you sleep last night?

Yoongi- Oh? I didnt think self absorbed unthoughtful pricks could think of anything other than themselves for long enough to worry about someones sleep schedule

Hobi- Wow, thats the most he says and its a full blown diss track

Hobi- wait

Hobi- What happened? Are you two okay?

Jin- Yoongi...

Yoongi- Hyung im not mad at you

Yoongi- I realise youre not at fault

Jungkook- We can go bowling another time...?

Namjoon- Hey no, this is between me and Yoongi hyung so dont worry. We’ll sort things out or be civil by the time of your bowling night

Yoongi- I very highly beg to differ

Yoongi- Why dont you understand what youve done

Yoongi- What you’ve ruined

Yoongi- What you’ve broke

Jimin- Hyung look at me

Taehyung- Uh

Taehyung- Namjoon hyung what happened

Namjoon- Yoongi told me something in confidence and i told Jin

Hobi- Ooh snek

Taehyung- Dick move lol

Hobi- Your not Jimin, dont lol

Namjoon- *You’re

Hobi- Oh fuck off Mr Daddy Snek

Jungkook- dAdDy SnEk

Jin- Hey guys calm it, maybe he doesnt need you teaming against him rn

Jin- As far as im aware, bowlings still on

Jin- So whos comin

Taehyung- Me and Kookie

Hobi- Im game

Jin- I want to come and i believe Namjoon is

Taehyung- Chimmie?

Taehyung- Chim..?

Taehyung- Yoongi hyung......?

Jimin- We’ll be there

~~~~~~~~~

“He fucking told some current whore of his something very personal and you expect me to be civil?! Civil!?” Yoongi’s voice was on the brim of being raised. After he’d looked at Jimin and heard the boy try to help, he’d automatically gotten weary. He was now sat on his bed as Jimin swang absently side to side on his spinning desk chair.

“You could go over there and talk things out with him hyungie but i know you need time. I dont know what it is that he snaked you out about but i know it hurt you, just please dont let that ruin Jungkook’s night,” Jimin pleaded, Yoongi found it suspiciously difficult to be mad at the younger as he sat there staring with his fucking doe eyes.

“I can try Jiminie, but i really cant make many promises.”

~~~~~~~~~

Jimin had braced himself for the worst possible situation. He was ready for Yoongi to get hurt or start screaming or even launch a freaking bowling ball at Namjoon. Yet none of that happened. They both just ignored each other; Yoongi did it much more expertly than Namjoon who kept sending the elder regretful glances. 

If Jimin or Tae had fallen out and were forced into each others premises they'd probably take one look at each other, simultaneously start bawling their eyes out, and both begin to apologise for the pettiest things. However, people deal differently, and this issue seems to be on a much greater scale than anything Tae and Jimin got themselves into.

A few bowls in and a few celebratory moments of exhibitionism from Taekook, Yoongi seemed to feel less stiff against Jimin’s shoulder when the latter sat down after bowling. It was finally Yoongi’s turn and Jimin already began to miss the elders body heat he was previously pressed against. 

Turns out, Yoongi really isnt as stoic and precise as usual when it comes to bowling. Jimin doesnt even think you can call it bowling. He didnt even use the holes. He just.... just well.... he was technically squatting and then swinging the bowling ball backwards under his legs, giving Jimin a moment of fear that he’d accidently let it go and kill Hoseok in the process; as the latter was hazardously leaning against the ball dispenser. Then he just flung it forward to glide along the alley and-

“Oh my fuck-“

“Mind your fucking language Jeon Jungkook,” Jin habitably whispered as he also stared in awe. Even Namjoon looked on in an almost longing/solemn expression. It was disheartening to see; and Jimin made a pact to himself that he’d get those two together again. Even though Yoongi has been opening up more to Jimin without Namjoon in the picture...but Jimin wont ever let himself be /that/ person.

Back to the matter at hand.

“I scored a fucking strike! You can all suck it, i’m winning this bitch,” Yoongi called as he literally sauntered back to his seat next to Jimin while Jin mockingly bowed to Yoongi who gave the elder an awkward smile- he wasnt mad at Jin but it was still a little off that he currently wanted to bowl the elders boyfriend down that aisle. 

“Oh my gosh hyungie, have you even ever bowled before?!” Jimin squealed back, ourposely trying to hype the other up and at least let him enjoy himself. Plus Jimin was genuinly shook over this.

“Only once! Me and Namjo... Uh yeh i have,” Yoongi faded out but Jimin just ignored the little mishap.

“Wow, did you do it your own special way last time too?” Jimin shoved at Yoongi as he said it. Tae laughing along with them as Jungkook huffed and went to bowl. The maknae really had a tendency to get a mard on if he didnt win.

“Yah! Its my technique you brat! And its clearly better than the lot of you.”

“Okay hyungie, whatever you say,” Jimin then leans back on Yoongi, back now pressed half against the rappers chest; yet not so rough to be able to feel the unsteady confusion that is the beating of Yoongi’s heart.

The game goes on. They order overpriced burgers and Jimin almost cries when he drops his but Yoongi passes over his own with a quiet mumble of something along the lines of “im full just watching my dongsaeng eat”. Tae gives Jimin a wiggle of his eyebrows at that, looking ridiculously silly with chipmunk cheeks full of food. Namjoon rolls a bowling ball backwards and does almost end up crushing Hobi’s foot; Jin has a ten minute rant at the both of them for inconvenience and clumsyness. Jungkook ends up winning the game to which Tae makes some innuendo about rewarding him further to which Jimin fake gags.

All in all, everything went quite smoothly.

Until everyone started heading home and giving out farewell hugs.

Namjoon seemed to have tried to brave through it and hug Yoongi to which the elder hissed at him to “piss off”. 

“Hyung, please, just hear me out,” Namjoon pleaded so desperately it tugged at Jimin’s heart. Jimin looked panickedly at Jin, he may not have known him that long, but Jimin knows a reliable and honest person when he meets one, and he was sure that Jin would know what to do. The elder didnt return his eye contact so Jimin just trusted him to act when needed.

“Hear you out? You want me to just “hear you out” after you let me tell you everything i hate about myself just to throw it all back in my face. You broke my trust Namjoon. You- You know me the most and you know exactly what would happen to me if i didnt have you... Namjoon I...” Yoongi fists were clenched and he’d stopped yelling halfway through; he was now just talking, but in the way that you could hear the broken man he was trying to hide.

“I’ll give you a lift boys, there is just about enough room for all of us so lets get going,” Jin spoke up as nonchalantly as he could, the others looking highly uncomfortable yet intrigued with the current argument. They still followed the eldest out anyway. As did Jimin, but before he could even take his second step Yoongi’s hand was gripped all the way around Jimin’s wrist, pulling him back. (Truth be told, Yoongi didnt know why he did it, he just felt that if Jimin wasnt there then he’d break down.)

Jin and the others left Jimin without even a second glance. Jimin not even having a second to speculate why they thought he was a part of this before the two older ones in the room were back at it.

“You know what would have happened if Jimin wasnt with me Namjoon, I-“

“No. Yoongi hyung i 100% agree that i did wrong. But dont make me mad at you by guilting me into never upsetting you in fear you’ll...” Namjoon looks at Jimin and sighs. “Does he know?”

Jimin spares a glance at Yoongi who avoids his gaze. 

“No.”

“You might want to tell him. Its only a matter of time Yoongi hyung. And if what you're saying is true then i want him there for you if you ever feel like you cant come to me. I feel horrible about telling Jin; though i did it out of worry and good intentions, i realise it was wrong and... i’m so sorry hyung. I dont want you to ever feel like you cant tell me anything. Ever,” Namjoon breathes out the last worst, slightly out of breath due to the pure stress he put on each syllable of each word. There was a pause and then Namjoon spoke up again. “Im always here for you hyung. As i know Jimin will be too. I’m sorry i keep speaking about you as if you arent here Jimin, i’m just trying to explain some things because i know Yoongi takes to you, you wouldnt stil be in here if he didnt.” 

Jimin smiles at Namjoon and whispers its fine and that hes sorry if hes being invasive.

Yoongi holds his hand at that, running his thumb over the expanse of Jimin’s fingers.

“I’m obviously not completely over it Namjoon, but i am over us not being best friends again. So like dont be a fucker again and we’re good.”

That was an oddly Yoongi-like sentence way of solving that; but it seemed to work.

(Yoongi hoped to whatever fucking god out there that Jimin didnt notice that he’d held the youngers hand to prevent his tears.

He didnt notice.

But Namjoon did.)


End file.
